Call him “L”, I met him when I entered Crypto World. I am special to him as he was to me. He treats me the way I wished to be treated by a man. He never failed to make me feel virtually special which made my friends think that we are in a relationship, but the truth is, we’re not. NOT YET as I was not ready at that time. I told him my reasons and I’m grateful because he understood all of it and he said he’s willing to wait for me until the time comes that I become ready.

He told me his plan of seeing me in person. I was excited as I was also secretly planning of introducing him to my family. Both our plans did not happen because he left. Yes, he left without saying anything. He just left me behind.

 For almost two years, I never heard or received anything from him even if he knew how and where to contact me.

I, no longer miss him. I am not anymore waiting for him to come back. I don’t want to know his reasons for leaving me. I don’t want to know or hear anything from him. LIES! LIES! LIES! These are all lies because no matter how I convince myself that I am not waiting for him to come back, I can never deny the fact that from that very day he stopped communicating with me up to now, I am still waiting for him.

Now, I’m torn between forgetting everything about him or just wait until he comes back and tell me everything. How I wish I can just forget all about him so, I won’t feel any pang of guilt and pain every time I remember what we used to before; and to stop myself from thinking of all those “WHAT IFs” and “WHAT COULD HAVE BEENs” if he didn’t do what he did. Or maybe I should just wait until he’s ready to come out and answer all my WHYs and HOWs. Maybe after that I’ll be able to finally move on and bury in the deepest part of my mind and heart all those virtual memories I had with him.