If life is painted on portrait, who put dark colors in them? Who is responsible for the malady in our society, is it the internet or stars on television? If there is really a God who created them male and female from the beginning, how are we sure he is not weeping over us right now?
These and many more are questions that pop off my mind any time I think about the nocturnal hyena tagged ‘’Rape Culture’’ that has eaten deeply into the carrion of our society.
This article seeks to analyze the modern society’s influence on rape culture and recommend specific policy initiatives to help combat and curb the rape menace.
Rape culture is a sociological concept for a setting in which rape is pervasive, normalized and trivialized due to societal attitudes.
Rape culture is a term coined in the 1970 designed to show the ways in which society blames sexual violence on the victims. It allows us to live in a society where it is acceptable to teach sexualized violence prevention. Record has it that one out of every three women in Europe has suffered some form of rape and 5% of women in Denmark and Finland have been raped. In Zimbabwe, at least one Woman is raped every ninety minutes. According to Zimbabwe national statistics (Zimstat), 500 women were sexually abused monthly, about 16 women are being raped daily.
All the above statistics and records are terrifying enough and here we are, folding our hands and shutting our mouth, shrugging our shoulders and looking the other way as no one seems bothered. Here are some painful obvious ways we influence rape culture in our society:
1. The ‘’just the way things are‘’ syndromes: The society is gradually decaying as we no longer see rape as a big deal, we blame it on poverty, unemployment, over population and even the government, we say “well, it’s just the way things are’’. We shrug it away with excuses, we rather nag and caution the victim than nab the perpetrators. We protect the culprit by querying the victims with words such as why did you go there? Why can’t you wear something better? Why did you answer him? Who was there when it happened? Why did you help a stranger? Why didn’t you wear a better shoe that can make you run? Don’t you know you are not supposed to go out at that hour? We are feeding the hyena with our own flesh.
2. Victim blaming: The society is now celebrating the belief that victims have contributed to their own victimization and are responsible for what has happened to them. The society blames victims of sexual violence while creating an escape route for the culprit. What do you think of a judge blaming a woman of her own rape? What do you think of placards in female hostels with texts such as “Don’t get raped” instead of “Don’t rape” we are promoting it and we are crying.
3. The undermined concept of consent: In African society for example and in other patriarchal society, the man is seen as the alpha who need not the consent of the significant other to do certain things including sexual duties.
According to UNICEF, marital or spousal rape occurs in 1out of every 3 African homes and the husband or male spouse go scot free as the man is seen as the head and the woman’s consent, opinion, feeling and decision is thrashed. A man forcefully and violently abused his wife sexually in the middle of the night and the whole community wakes up to bash the woman with accusations that she tries to deny her husband his matrimonial rights, calling the lines for her husband and that she deserves all the sexual violence. We kept dancing to entertain the hyena.
4. Slut-shaming: The society have given her back like horse to rape culture to ride on through criticizing women and girls who fall victims to sexual rape. The society condemns the victims, make them vulnerable and weak in themselves. We bash rape victims with criticism and condemnation, we discriminate and stigmatize thereby, impugning the character of the victim and pamper the culprits. The victims run to the society for safety and justice but we push them back to a lonely cold world every time they run to us.
5. Sexual Objectification: This is the act of treating a person as a mere tool of sexual gratifications, commodity or an object without regards to their personality. This dehumanizing act is happening under our nose and we fold our harms and tied our tongues.
6. Silence and Secrecy: You better not say it out, I am sure you don’t want to be called names, do you? You must not tell anyone, it will tarnish the name of our family if the world hears that you were raped.
According to UNICEF, 35% of rape cases around the globe went unreported in a climate of secrecy and denial. Our society is suffering and smilling.
What came over you? where did you learn this from? What has entered you? These were the questions of Mr. Johnson as he landed another heavy whip on his 10 year old only son. Answer me my friend? Who taught you this nonsense? Snared Mr. Johnson at Bolu his son as Mrs. Johnson sat on the bare floor crying helplessly.
I learnt it from you dad… the whole room became as silent as a graveyard, Mr. Johnson gently lowered the whip in his hand as Mrs. Johnson opened her mouth in amazement. You learnt it from me? How? queried Mr. Johnson.
Mr. and Mrs. Johnson are happily married with a son “Bolu”, they all lived in a one room apartment with a wooden bed and a 32inches television hanged to the wall.
One night, Bolu was wakened by the cracking sound of their only bed. in curiosity, he opened his innocent eyes in the darkroom where he saw indistinct image of his parent copulating and moaning loudly. The parent who were carried away in their fleshy pleasure did not know that their only son is awake as they continued in the sexual intercourse while Bolu watched on.
Though, he did not understand what he saw but the scene he had seen got stored into his memory, his head kept replaying it and his body gradually began to push for the desires in his head.
Two months later, Bolu’s cousin came over to the house for a holiday with the Johnsons. Three days after her arrival, Mr. Johnson had gone to work while Mrs. Johnson quickly dashed to the market to get something to cook leaving Bolu and his cousin alone in the house. The scene Bolu saw the other night began a replay in his head and his body raged to act out on the desires the image in his head brings. Without hesitation, Bolu pounced on his cousin and raped her till she bled.
Mrs. Johnson screamed and almost passed out as she opened the door and saw her only son in a dehumanizing mess, she called her husband who wasted no time arriving at the scene landing series of whip and blow on his son.
Yes daddy, I learnt it from you. I saw you and mummy the other night and I didn’t know it was bad to do it, I didn’t know it will hurt her.
Mr. Johnson sank helplessly into a nearby chair as he unconsciously looked into the roof while his wife still sat on the bare floor crying louder than before.
As the saying goes “what happened in Vegas, stays in Vegas”. Mrs. Johnson contacted her sister, relayed all the matter to her and both parties agreed to keep the incident as a secret in attempt to save their face from shame.
I am sorry if I had bored you with my fictional story, the point I want to clearly bring to light is that “the smallest proportion of the society is the family” if we don’t bring the change from the root, then we are merely beheading a tree that will sprout again and grow enormously.
The society did not influence the Johnsons’ family, rather, the Johnsons family had unknowingly released a beast into the society.
Let the message start from every family, let the movement begin from our homes, let every father become a change agent, let the voice of every boys and girls be heard, let the mothers have a say too and let the society’s joint hand be stronger towards giving voice to each other.
In the bid to combat rape culture and curb sexual violence, all forms of schooling environment, starting from the family to non-formal, informal and formal educational organizations and all educational stakeholders must combine efforts and forces in combating rape culture by educating families and communities, changing popular beliefs and fostering supports for all rape victims. Educate the public to speak against offensive joke and rape trivialization. How can someone make joke out of sexual violence cases and expect me to laugh, it’s not funny. How can you make light a heavy issue such as rape and you expect me to keep my cool?
We all have roles to play, impacts to take and responsibility to carry if we must hunt and take down this raging hyena tagged “rape culture” that is set to render our society desolate.
We all should get involved, join a student or community group working to end rape culture. This hyena must die! This menace must stop! Rape culture must disappear.