Sometimes, even when we're not in an emergency situation, our thoughts and feelings can tell us they are. Or we might feel like we're being overwhelmed by a situation, even if it's really not as bad as we think it is. Or our minds might just be playing tricks on us and making us feel all worried for no reason. In this article, I'll go over a few ways you can calm down and stop panicking else. The first thing to remember is that your thoughts don't always represent reality.
What are your thoughts telling you?
When we're anxious, it's because we've been having particular kinds of thoughts. If you want to stop panicking, then the first thing you need to do is identify exactly what those thoughts are. Here's a list of some common 'anxiety' type thoughts:
" Help! I'm going to die! "
This means our brain has told us that something terrible is about to happen. In reality, there's no immediate danger of dying (unless maybe if an asteroid was about hit the Earth or something) – but still, even though logically we know this, panic can set in anyway.
My tip for dealing with this one? Remind yourself of all the times you've survived a possible-death situation before and realise that you got through it OK. It's not really helpful to tell yourself " I'm going to die! I'm going to die!! " though, because the more you focus on death, the more your anxiety will feel like something serious.
" What if…? "
This means our brain is trying to predict what might happen in the future based on past experience – but there's no way for us to know for sure if those predictions are right or wrong (and even so, why does it matter anyway?). For example, you might be at home and think; "What if someone breaks into my home?!" But how could you possibly know this will happen? Some people just like being worried and will worry about all kinds of things that are unlikely to happen.
My tip for dealing with this one? Don't even pay attention to your thoughts, because you don't need to predict what might happen in the future. Also, there's no point worrying over something that you can't do anything about.
" I have a huge problem! "
This means we're worrying about some kind of problem, but the problem is really not that big at all (because if it was really a big deal, then why would we be worried?). For example: We might be going on holiday soon and think; "I'm going away on holiday next week – I should start packing now so I'll be ready." But wait… How stressful is packing? And how stressful will it really be next week? It turns out, not that much.
My tip for dealing with this one? Be honest with yourself about exactly how bad your problem really is and whether it's worth all the worry. You can also get used to being less anxious by learning to notice your anxiety and then doing something else instead of getting worked up over it (like exercise). Another great way to deal with unimportant problems is simply telling yourself "I don't need to worry about this" – because you don't.
" Oh no! I don't know what to do! "
This means you're panicking about making a decision, but there's really nothing bad that will happen if you just wait or find something else to do. It might not be the perfect idea or solution out of all possible options – but it might work out fine anyway and stop us worrying for no reason. If we can take time to think things through, then either we'll come up with a good plan (which is great), or we'll realise there was never any need to worry in the first place and so we can just let go of our anxiety.
My tip for dealing with this one? Remind yourself that if you have enough information, then usually there will be a decision that will make you happy. You can also give yourself permission to take as much time as you need and not force a decision just because it's taking longer than usual.
My tip for dealing with "I don't know what to do!": Notice your anxiety, tell yourself that there's no rush and then find something else to occupy your mind (like reading or exercise). By doing this, we're stopping the inevitable cycle of worry-about-what-to-do-next → more anxiety → even more worrying about what to do → even more anxiety etc…
" I'm losing control ! "
This means one of our values is being threatened in some way – like if someone was threatening us physically, or maybe someone insulted us and now we feel embarrassed. But either way, what's the worst that could really happen? That someone will make fun of you or beat you up? It might not be nice, but it doesn't mean you're losing control over your life – it just means bad things sometimes happen to everyone.
My tip for dealing with this one? To stop worrying about something so unimportant (like whether people like you), tell yourself that whatever happens, "I'm still me" or "I can cope". This is a powerful mindset shift because instead of making our problems bigger ("This is awful!") we're finding reasons to accept what happened and move on without getting so upset. In fact, if there are more important things in your life (like your friends, family etc…), then please imagine one of them standing next to you while you're worrying – and know that whatever happens, they'll still love you.
My tip for dealing with this one: Remind yourself that it's normal to feel bad sometimes , because everyone does from time to time. We can also remind ourselves that what we're feeling might be temporary (because if it really mattered so much, wouldn't things have changed by now?)
But if it's still not working, then try reading more to learn how to deal with being unpopular or lonely .
In conclusion:
I have a lot of tips for dealing with this kind of anxiety, but if you only remember one thing then let it be: Whenever we realise that our problems aren't as bad as we thought they were, that's the perfect time to relax and stop worrying. It's like when someone has a cold – at first it feels bad so they worry about getting worse, but then they get better instead. If something doesn't work out in life, it means there's something else coming along pretty soon that will make us happy anyway.