It is simple to say, "Reach out for assistance."
It's simple to say, "Believe in your support system."
It's simple to say, "You're never alone."
But what if, despite everyone's assurances, you still feel isolated?
Unfortunately, this is the reality for many people who do not have a support system or friends they can rely on. That is why we wanted to compile a list of concrete things you can do when you feel as if you have no one. We solicited advice from our mental health community to get us started. This is by no means an exhaustive list, but we hope it serves as a starting point.
Most importantly, we want you to know that we understand if you are frustrated by people telling you to reach out. The feeling that no one understands you is terrible, and we promise that there is someone out there who cares and wants to connect with you.
On the other hand, if you know someone who is struggling with isolation, don't wait for them to contact you. If you want to reach out but don't know what to say, here's a list of texts people wished they had received when they were isolated.
Even when we feel isolated, there is someone out there who understands. Here are some things you can do if you feel like you don't have anyone:
1. Look for a Facebook group for people who have a similar interest.
There were 620 million Facebook groups reported in 2010, so I can only imagine how many there are now. This also means that there is a Facebook group for almost any topic you can think of, from mental health support to “dog-spotting.” There is even one for people who really, really like “Back to the Future” — and it receives 10 posts per day on average.
The disadvantage of Facebook groups is that, because there are so many, most aren't "quality controlled," so proceed with caution. If you are at ease, contact the group's administrator to see if they are responsive and committed to making the group a safe environment.
Although this process can be difficult, it can be rewarding when you find the right one. Katlyn S. is a powerful community member. exchanged:
When I severed contact with my family, I felt as if none of my friends could understand. They were all in "normal" relationships, so while they could listen, it wasn't the same. I looked through Facebook until I found a couple of groups that seemed to relate to what I was going through. It can be overwhelming at times due to triggers from other people's experiences, but there is a lot of support.
Allison M., a member of the community When she didn't feel like people in her own life understood her, she discovered that people online were more understanding:
When you don't have any support systems in your life, there are a plethora of them online, particularly on Facebook. People in online support groups, in my experience, are far less judgmental than people in our lives who don't understand what we're going through; they're more caring, compassionate, supportive, and truly there for one another.
There may be a Facebook group for you if you want to connect with people who share a common interest or if you just want somewhere to go when you're having a bad day. Go to Facebook's search bar and sort by "Groups" to see what you can find.
2. Consider getting a pet or spending time with animals.
In general, having a pet can be a great form of support, and there is a lot of research that shows pets are good for your mental health.
Pets are also excellent icebreakers, so bringing your furry friend with you when you leave the house may make socializing a little easier. If you're feeling lonely and want to take your pet somewhere, sites like BringFido can help you find dog-friendly restaurants, coffee shops, and even activities in your area. There may also be a Cat Cafe near you where you can meet people and cats (though, hey, it's probably mostly cats — nothing wrong with that!).
Whether you spend time with your own pet, take horseback riding lessons, or find other ways to incorporate animals into your life, animals can provide comfort when no one else can — and hopefully, they will make you feel a little less alone. Melissa A., a Mighty member, says “Turn to a pet,” was advised. They can provide unconditional love and support that humans cannot.”
3. Participate in a book club.
If reading can temporarily take us out of our heads, a book club is the irl (in real life) equivalent. While meeting new people can be difficult, it can be made a little easier when you share a common interest (for example, gushing about/analyzing a book you're reading).
If you're not sure where to begin, go to my-bookclub.com to find book clubs in your area. If talking about books in person isn't your thing, there are virtual book clubs. BuzzFeed, for example, has recently launched a book club. On GoodReads, you can also find a list of book clubs.
Although joining a book club isn't always a surefire way to get immediate mental health help, reading and discussing books can give you something to look forward to while also connecting you with people in an unusual way.
4. Locate a support group.
Don't worry if you need a safe place to talk about your mental health. Support groups are an excellent way to get mental health help while also connecting with others. A support group, which is usually led by a trained facilitator or a mental health professional, can provide you with a safe place to talk about your problems. Rebekah W., a member of the community, says stated:
You will either discover that you have more support than you thought, that your loved ones have the potential to become good support if they are eager to grow, or that you can form relationships within the group that will serve as your outside-of-group support.
If you're looking for a local support group, you can search by zip code or state here. To Write Love on Her Arms also has a great resource for finding therapists and support groups.
5. Meet new people by using Meetup.
If you want to meet people in person, Meetup is a website that will connect you with people in your area through events. You can look through categories ranging from outdoor adventures to film. If you have a hobby you've been wanting to pursue or simply want a reason to get out of the house, this could be a good option for you.
Obviously, meeting strangers can be difficult. If you dislike the "social" aspect of socializing, it may be beneficial to select a category based on doing something, such as writing or crafting. That way, you might still be able to meet people, but your hands will be kept busy.
6. Begin volunteering.
This option may not be suitable for everyone — and that's fine. Sometimes we need to take care of ourselves before we can help others. Even if you feel worthless and alone, you'd be surprised how much you have to offer. Find a cause in your community about which you are passionate and join a team of people who are equally passionate about giving back. Here are some places to look for volunteer opportunities:
Go to Volunteer Match and search for opportunities based on your location and interests.
Apply for a position as a crisis counselor at the Crisis Text Line.
Apply to work as a volunteer with The Trevor Project.
7. The Buddy Project can help you find a buddy.
The Buddy Project, founded by Gabby Frost, one of The Mighty's Mental Heroes of 2017, is a non-profit organization that connects people with online buddies in order to prevent suicide and self-harm. Gabby was inspired when she noticed that many of her friends who were struggling with their mental health reached out for help online, according to the Buddy Project website.
Over 195,000 people had signed up to be paired with a buddy as of December of this year. Their website matches people based on age and interests, and they plan to launch an app in 2018 to make the process even easier. While having a "buddy" cannot replace therapy or treatment, the Buddy Project aims to grow peer support networks online by matching people with similar interests.
Sign up here to find a buddy.
8. On 7 Cups, you can connect with someone.
7 Cups is an online "safe" space for people to talk about mental health. Chat with one of their "listeners" one-on-one for free, or connect with other members on their chat boards.
Catherine S. is a powerful member of the community. shared the following comments:
I experimented with several online support sites when I first began actively working on developing a support system. 7 Cups is my favorite. It's a fantastic site with numerous ways to find support that fits you and your needs (chat available, gratitude exercises, group threads, to name a few).
Explore the various ways you can connect with people by going here.
9. If you're on Twitter, look for helpful mental health hashtags.
If you use Twitter as much as I do, you know it can be a stressful and sometimes angry environment. But, among the trolls and divisive hashtags, there are people in the mental health community having amazing conversations — you just have to know where to look. The following hashtags are good places to start if you want to meet new people or make your Twitter timeline a little more supportive:
