It finally hits you one day. You wish you could go back in time and do things differently. You reflect on all of the missed opportunities, poor judgments, jumbled priorities, and errors that led to your greatest regrets. Some regrets are larger than others, but regret is a difficult emotional burden to endure.
You cannot change the past, no matter how powerful, clever, or accomplished you are. It took place.
You may, however, alter your impressions of what you did or didn't do, and use your experiences - including your deepest regrets – to guide your future in the correct path.
WHAT ARE YOUR MOST SERIOUS REGRETS?
Regret is a multi-faceted emotion that can be difficult to process. It might be a mixture of sadness, disappointment, wrath, and guilt. As if that weren't bad enough, regret is a self-directed emotional response, and we are often our own harshest judges, worst foes, and worst critics.
Recognizing what it is about your past choices that concerns you the most is the first step toward using them as a motivator for change.
CHOICE OF PROFESSION
Many people rue the day they didn't take the time to find out "what they wanted to be when they grew up." It's sometimes faster, easier, and/or less expensive to take advantage of an opportunity that presents itself, especially if it's accompanied by the promise of a good salary.
It is not a cliché to say that “it is never too late.” Many well-known entrepreneurs, authors, and entertainers changed careers later in their lives.
Take the following steps: If working in an unsuitable career is one of your greatest regrets, take action immediately! At any age, never assume that a career shift is impossible. Even the most insurmountable barriers can frequently be overcome. Do your homework if you're thinking about changing careers. Is it necessary to have particular credentials? What is the industry's level of competition? Is this career more in line with your skills, personal values, or personal style?
BUILDING A STRONG FINANCIAL FOUNDATION
If you thought saving was something you did with your "spare money," you quickly realized that those two terms don't normally go together. People's lives are usually adjusted to their income levels, and they spend appropriately.
Because of youth's invincibility, few of us consider the "what ifs" until they happen. Things happen, from unforeseen medical bills to a leaking roof. Layoffs and other crises like the current epidemic, which might cause an interruption in your income stream, can be costly. Retirement looms at the end of the job rainbow at the end.
You are not alone if one of your greatest regrets is not having enough money set aside in some sort of savings. Many people risk outliving their income if they don't have enough savings, partially because we're living longer than ever before as a culture.
Take the following steps: Make a budget, and make sure to include "savings" as a required item. Pay yourself first, in reality. Whether you open and consistently add to a bank savings account, invest in the securities markets, or just open and continuously add to a retirement account, “better late than never” applies.
Some of these retirement planning advice for "late starters" may be useful to you.
BALANCE BETWEEN WORK AND FAMILY LIFE
Men and women alike often regret devoting too much time to their careers. Milestones (birthdays that finish in "0," friends' marriages, children's graduations, and so on) frequently cause us to reflect, reminding us of where we fall short of our own expectations. Many women discover that they aren't where they wanted to be in their personal life as a result of the amount of time and attention they put into their careers (married, with children, etc.). Many men regret not being more involved in their children's lives because they valued professional results (job and money) over personal relationships (family).
Take the following steps: The beauty of balance is that it is ever-changing. With little effort, the scales can be tipped in any direction. You won't be able to make up for lost time, but you can make a commitment to prioritize your time differently in the future. Pick up the phone, schedule a visit, or try “unplugging” to create a clearer separation between home and work.
Concentrate on the most vital things. Imagine you're on your deathbed, and you're on the verge of making a decision. What do you regret? Don't have enough time to travel and see the world? Do you find it difficult to date and find a partner because you don't have enough time? Are you not prioritizing yourself in your life?
Regardless of the issue of your regret, practicing mindfulness meditation is one of the most effective strategies to achieve a stronger feeling of balance. It can assist us in “showing up” for our lives rather than missing critical events because our minds are elsewhere.
GETTING OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE
Staying in your comfort zone is often the source of life's worst regrets. Many people choose to plant roots in the same place as their parents and siblings, despite the fact that it may appear to be the obvious – or in some circumstances, the only – option. If, on the other hand, your extended family resides in Minnesota and the first snowfall of the season throws you into full-fledged “I-wish-I-lived-in-Florida” mode, it may be a signal worth noticing, whether or not you pack your bags. Many of us, like yours truly, now recognize that we can accomplish our jobs from anywhere and, as a result, live anywhere we want in today's COVID climate.
Perhaps you chastise yourself for not making the most of your high school or college years, when there seemed to be an infinite supply of possibilities to meet new people and learn about nearly everything.
As our circumstances change, we frequently don't realize how fortunate we were until we no longer have it. That's a formula for disaster.
Take the following steps: We live in a world where there are virtually endless possibilities to learn, grow, volunteer, meet new people, and acquire new abilities. Taking an improv class or beginning to learn a new language are two excellent ways to expand your horizons. Another option is to take advantage of the numerous adult education programs available at local community colleges, high schools, YMCAs, and park systems. The opportunities for learning something new are endless, from ballroom dance to horticulture, self-defense, or studying Spanish. Breaking out of your comfort zone begins the moment you decide to go and do something!
WELLNESS
Do you wish you'd taken better care of yourself, both physically and mentally? Many people are unconcerned about their health, prioritizing job and other family members' demands — until the first red flag is raised. Neglecting your physical health and failing to manage your stress can lead to a variety of problems, including sleeplessness, chronic pain, heart disease, diabetes, and a variety of other significant issues.
You don't have to be heavy or have health problems to regret not caring for your body better. With age and a slowed metabolism, gaining a few additional pounds becomes more difficult to reverse. This can have a negative impact on one's self-esteem and body image.
If you're a woman, especially a mother, you may have put so much focus on taking care of your family that you've forgotten about yourself. One of your greatest regrets may manifest as worry when you approach the empty-nest era after years of putting your personal needs on the back burner.
Recovering addicts often list their substance usage as one of their greatest regrets in life. Perhaps you wish you could go back in time and undo the damage to your relationships or reclaim the time you lost while battling addiction. It's easy to say "I wish I had quit sooner," regretting ever smoking your first cigarette, swallowing your first pill, or having your first drink once you've overcome your addiction.
Take the following steps: First and foremost, forgive yourself. While this is true for every regret in life, it may be more difficult in the wellness area because the implications are potentially more significant. For that, begin to look after yourself. Today. Make sure you have enough energy to care for others by putting on your own "oxygen mask."
Make “me” time a priority, even if it feels selfish. Develop long-term healthy diet and exercise routines to ensure that you keep to them. It may seem impossible to eat well or get enough exercise every day, but remember that success is determined by the cumulative impact of all of your tiny actions over time. Give yourself credit for putting in the effort – and for making small steps forward.
USE YOUR GREATEST REGRETS TO HELP YOU IMPROVE YOURSELF.
It is neither productive, helpful, or healthy to ruminate about your past. Instead of berating yourself, try something new. Have some empathy for the previous incarnations of yourself. Understanding that you are no longer your 17-year-old self can help you feel better about the terrible decisions you've made in the past.
Acceptance is a necessary step on the road to self-forgiveness. Stop using terms like good, awful, smart, and stupid to describe yourself. That kind of judgment isn't helpful when it comes to shaping your future self. Ruminating on the past will not help you understand that lesson and, in fact, may prevent you from making better decisions in the future.
Consider your past and apply what you've learned to create the finest future imaginable. Make a powerful vow that your future will be different – starting right now. Create a new or alternative path for yourself, whether it's a career shift, a vacation to a destination you've always wanted to visit, or a monthly lunch meet with your grown son.
While contemplating one's greatest regrets might be unpleasant, they can also provide valuable insight into the person you want to become and the life you want to live — beginning today.