Do you believe that the outcome of any situation depends on what you say and how you say it? Every word that comes from your mouth describes who you are. If other people usually misinterpret your words, it's time to analyze your inner self: Are you that bad to hurt other people? What kind of word does your mouth speaks and it ends in that situation? If your words get you into trouble... It just represents you as a careless and hurtful person.
"However, whatever comes out of the mouth comes from the heart, and those things defile a man." — Matthew 15:18
If you speak, it defines your thoughts. So if you're known for talking harshly, opposing, careless, or judgemental it just defines who you are. It just shows that you view your life on a darker side. And it will surely make your life unhappy, miserable, and terrible. 'Coz you always see the bad side in others, instead of the good one.
So it's very important to think before you speak. Why? Based on James 3:5,6: "The tongue is... a fire" and, "How small a fire it takes to set a great forest ablaze!" You can think first about what you're going to say, you can consider the words to use, how will those words impact others, and what they will feel if they hear those words. Also, think that if those words come out, you can't get it back. It already defines you as a person, and tell others how you view things.
But why do we say the wrong things?
We are not perfect. Being imperfect makes us weak, that can make us talk the wrong thing. We have imperfect brain and tongue, so it's reasonable to imperfectly control them.
We talk too much. Talking too much and listening too little can result in offending others. Learn to keep quiet. Talking always doesn't mean that you are the smartest.
We speak thoughtlessly. One example of thoughtless speech is sarcasm. Other people make it a habit, and throw it as a joke. They want to be funny and it leads to sarcasm and of course trouble. Remember that humiliating others is not funny. So let's avoid abusively speech.
Did you try putting toothpaste back into its tube? Is it easy? No, it's not. Same with speaking. Once we say it... You can't take it back.
So how can we break the habit of speaking harshly?
I know this part is not easy, but we can try some advice. Honestly, it's up to you to control your tongue. You're the one who's responsible for whatever comes from your mouth.
Don't forget to know when to close your mouth as soon as you open it. The best reply is no reply. You don't need to react to every person and situation around you by talking and opening your mouth. Learn how to close your mouth and take control of it. 😊 Give yourself a time to CHOOSE WISELY what words to speak. Then, avoid speaking when you're angry. If we are mad, the words that we speak are out of control. So you hurt others and you will surely regret it after. Don't forget to pause even for a few seconds to avoid speaking the wrong thing. 'Coz it will certainly result in enemies.
"Sorry, I didn't mean it." We can say this after we speak carelessly. Yes, it's easy to say sorry, but the damage has been done. You need to change your behavior instead of being used to say you are sorry. Learn to stand behind your words and take responsibility for them.
What else can we do to avoid being in trouble?
Don't talk too much. Simply, isn't it? Before you say something, always ask yourself, "Is it kind? Is it necessary?" If the answer is YES, then you can speak. 😊 Also, put ourselves in his situation. What would we feel if someone said it to us?
Similarly, avoid talking about negative subjects. It's always a form of gossiping about your friends or others. So instead of talking about it, why not divert the topic into good things or ideas?
Yet, what if you need to speak up? How can you say it without hurting others? Maybe you need to be tactful and respectful.
Instead of starting it with the negative words, try to say positive things first. Appreciate that person, commend him... Then say the wrong things that you observe but be brief. And always consider the location and setting.
Practice complimenting. What can you feel if people compliment you, say thank you, and appreciate you? It has a great impact and it feels good, right? So why not make it a habit? Train yourself to look the good around you, and speak it up. Tell honest praises, and it will surely boost your friendship and love. You will also attract positive people, and they will surely make you feel confident. 😊
So, are you ready to control your tongue?
Great