My story took place shortly after losing both my parents and I was suffering from a frozen shoulder. It was so painful I wanted to die and I was so depressed because I couldn't call my mom for comfort. All I could do as I waited for my doctor's appointment to come in a few days was to curl up on my bed in the fetal position and cry.
That's when I had my butterfly experience. It was dark in the room because I wasn't even able to reach over to turn on the lamp. I thought I was hallucinating from the pain when I saw a glow on the ceiling. I closed my eyes tightly thinking it would go away when I opened my eyes. As I peeked out I saw three beautifully glowing butterflies. Two were fluttering back and forth with each other as if arguing. Then one moved away from the other and moved near the little one as they fluttered so brilliantly with blue and gold colors. I couldn't believe my eyes and thought it was the pain that was causing me to see things, so I turned over to face away from them. In a few minutes, I heard a whisper in my ear saying, "Don't cry. You're going to be alright. Keep praying for the strength to get through this. I love you, my sweet daughter." I jumped up and cried out "What, who are you?" But they were gone. The pain had left me momentarily as I sat on the side of the bed crying because it hit me who the butterflies were. The two larger ones were my mom and dad and the smaller one was my oldest brother who had drowned when he was just seven. To this day I'm not sure if that really happened but it inspired me to write a poem called "Pain's Inspiration" and I want to share it with you...
Pain, pain, go away...
And please don't come back another day!
As I cry out, "Haven't I done enough to pay?"
Straining my aching muscles with every stretch and sway.
Not that I'm ungrateful to wake so early this day
But just once, I'd love to feel like I have made some headway
Wouldn't it be wonderful to be a child and go out to play?
Instead, I retreat to the zone of silent tormented dismay
Searching for why this relentless pain keeps me from my portray
Of the real me--once an active and fun-loving grandma gourmet
Missing the joy of creating grandbaby blankets that I used to crochet.
All day wandering aimlessly lost without purpose, it is sad to say
The only joyful anticipation left is curling up in my heated cocoon as I lay
Waiting for glorious milligrams to induce my sleep and take me away
To be for just a few blissful hours in a painless dreamy soiree.
All too soon, I awaken to a bright sliver of the new dawn's sunray
As my persistent alarm of pain cuts like a knife-an atrocious cliché
Making hope fade fast and leaving nothing to welcome with hurray.
With one painful stretch, I cry out, "No more" and I silently pray...
Lord, please take away the pain just enough so that I may
Summon the strength to continue doing your will today.
Once more, I push through the agony and tears hoping for one forte,
Then above me, I see three softly glowing lights fluttering, as if in play.
One energetically chases the other who is slower and wanders astray.
As it dawns on me who they could be, their wings of light form an array
Three brilliant sparkling butterflies circle over me, as I hear one say,
"Keep going my child...you can make it through yet another day."
Their soft sweet touch fills me with a shiver that opens a gateway
To strength and support that could only be from the spirit of Yahwey.
Still feeling the presence of my dearly beloved papa and mammae,
A surge of energy pulls me to my feet, as the butterflies fade away.
I feel the pain is still there, but no longer is it a dark doomed soothsay
Gratefully I whisper a sincere thank you for showing me the pathway
By bringing blessings of their love on the wings of a butterfly bouquet,
And showing me that whatever challenge comes my way,
Our Heavenly Father is still with me and I will be okay!
By Jessica Dumas (inspired by a true story)