I'm now passing my life as an unmarried man and I'm in my twenties. In the last twenty years of my existence in this beautiful earth, I've seen so many people and so many problems.
If I had to select the worst problem among them, I'll say post marital problems are the worst. I wonder how the most smart people also become unable to find solutions of post marital problems.
I'm not a married person but I've tried to find the solutions of post marital problems.So this article will be something like "post marriage solutions from an unmarried guy".
I find it very interesting solving post marital problems. So here is my observations and solutions of common problems from an unmarried man's point of view.
Understanding issues
As a man it will be very hard for me to understand fully the world of a woman.This is applicable not only for me but also for every man.
Let's embrace the truth that men find it very difficult to understand a woman's way of thinking. So when I don't understand for example the world of my sister,I don't generally get upset.
Because its impossible to whole heartedly understand someone from his or her point of view.As you are not seeing the same thing he or she is seeing.
As all humans have different perspective, different judgemental points and way of explaining things.
It has nothing to do with gender or any other human characteristics.The same thing is applicable for a woman too.
Your husband may not be able to understand your inner feelings, it's natural though. I've said it natural because we are evolved that way from the starting day of our civilization.
So as long as both man and woman will compromise with each other about their feelings, different perspectives will not be a big issue.
But if someone gets angry for example why her husband is not truly understanding herself that will be a problem.
If your husband is not understanding your way of thinking so why don't you express yourself more to your husband? The same thing goes for man too.
I think I've said it enough to make understand that if we can compromise with each other our difference will not be a bigger issue.
Though I've not married yet ha ha ha but I've seen a lot of unhappy couples. They just needed a little compromise but they were not interested to compromise with each other.
Look, your husband or your wife is not your enemy and a family life is not a battlefield at all.
Like if you compromise with your wife, your wife will win the family war part 1.
At night you'll have to sleep beside the same person, you are battling in the morning.To stop family war part 1, a little compromise will be just a great initiative.
Monetary issues
You can literally reduce post marital problems to zero, if you select wisely whom to marry.Let me elaborate this for you.Say you are struggling with monetary affairs from your childhood.
You know how painful it is to fight everyday against poverty. So when you are marrying someone,it's wise to choose a person from the same background you have.
Things will become more easy if you and your husband share the same economical background. How? Than both of you will know the pain of being in poverty.
As a result, both of you have the same courage and strength to fight against this poverty problem.
Not only this,if both of you share the same economical background than both of you will understand how valuable a single coin is.
So it's a wise choice choosing the right person who shares the same background.Though it can be economical, cultural, linguistic, geographical or any other facts.
To sum up, you can simply reduce post marital monetary affairs just choosing a person to marry, who shares the same background with you.
Again marrying someone from same background will increase the understanding ability undoubtedly.
Outside family issues
I don't see any problem now if you already have better understanding with your fiance and already have solved monetary affairs.Better understanding ability will alone solve 90% of post marital problems.
Again introducing outside problems into own family can create problems between husband and wife.
I've seen few families where they don't have any problems internally.But they bring outside problems into their family and quarrel with each other.
Seriously, man?Is it really necessary bringing outside problems into your family?
Keep outside problems away from your family and live your own life,man. Family first!
From an unmarried person's point of view, I think solving these 3 issues can dramatically reduce post maritalproblems.
This is based on my observations on the problems of after marriage between husband and wife.
Hello friend, thank you for this great article, you are very right in every point you mention, in short for a relationship to work, loving each other is not enough, communication is key for both parties to live together healthily, trust, it is not about keeping things to yourself, and expect the other to guess it, because we will simply weaken that communication, that love, and in the end, these problems that simply kill any relationship will arise.
You are right on the subject of being with someone who shares with you aspects of life, even the economic, I dare to add to that, also the age, because the idea is to go according as you mention, burn stages together, always the age difference can bring severe problems, my respects my friend, greetings.