Everything's Sinking
July 8, 2022
I wasn't around for two days because I can't squeeze in writing due to busy schedules. It's because we extended help to our sister's office as they like to say. It's a budding office with a budding leader and clerk. Both haven't mastered the system yet and so we help.
There wasn't a problem with it at first but then through time, they have become dependent on us and I hated it. The clerk seemed not to have a calming nature when she asks me to do something, she tells it like she was bossing me around and she wants things to be done immediately. Nonetheless, the program ended successfully despite the many lapses on the part of the secretariat.
My takeaway is that you don't have to be a hero at work. Don't go the extra mile especially if you are not appreciated. Don't do things that are beyond your duty especially if it costs your mental health. Nothing is worth your mental health. If you do things, make sure it's because you love it. Make sure you give your best out of your passion. But if you think it's draining you, leave. That's what I learned because oftentimes I'm afraid to say "no".
These past few days have been my trying times. At the boarding house, my other board mates seem to have a problem with my silence. It's like they are trying to make issues out of my actions and they want me to explode. Oh, wow. I don't even have time to get enough sleep. How come they think that I have time to engage and mingle with them. People now only grow old, they seem to forget to grow up.
To be honest, I don't want to be with a lot of people. As much as possible, I avoid who I can avoid. I only interact tho those I don't have a choice. Life becomes overwhelming to me. Responsibilities are overwhelming to me and I can't afford to be overwhelmed with people. I might get crazy later on.
So how's life for me lately?
It's the old me frustrated because people keep reminding me that I'm not in the job where I'm supposed to. People keep telling me to be hired at Deped. What can I do? I can't force them to hire me.
I tried doing multiple jobs to divert my attention and to at least gain my confidence back but the people around me keeps reminding me that there was something wrong with me that's why I haven't achieved that dream.
Oh no! It's hard for me also. I just want God to put me in a place where He wants me to be and while His at it, I pray that He'll allow those people to make peace with His decisions for me. That's all. After all, I didn't wish to be alive. I didn't wish to be here.
*lead image is from unsplash.com
Good day! It's Friday again. What are your plans for the weekend?
You're still young. Don't think you haven't achieved your dream.. It's YET... You still have a lot of time to pursue it..