Confused
January 11, 2022
I'm twenty-three. Young, wild and free. Young. Twenty-three is still young or so that's just what I thought. Wild. My thoughts run wild when I drink alcohol and my ears would turn red and hot when I'm angry or humiliated. Free. I'm single and not married yet so technically I'm free.
I haven't set my foot in college. My parents can't afford to send me to school. Ow. Scratch that. Even when they can afford to send me to school, I still won't go because I don't like the course that they want me to take. I want to be a policeman or an army but my parents disagree because they say I easily get angry and I might end up killing an ally or worst killed by an ally. My uncle would willingly send me to school but my parents never allowed me. I even registered myself to be an army but I failed to continue the journey because my documents were hidden by my mom and she won't give it to me.
I'm not that close with my parents. I like it better when I'm with my grandma. When she was stronger and able, she would frequently give me money. She lives in an island and I like it there too because that is where I grow up. My cousins and relatives are there. And of course, the island is filled with a lot of blessing. I can go fishing whenever I want. I like to fish whether using a boat or just swimming. I feel satisfied the moment I pull the nylon that has a catch in it. Most of my days and nights, I spend at the sea. I also play basketball and mobile legends. I love to sleep and though I'm a boy, I like to watch Korean movies. I don't sleep until I finish all the episodes.
I got a long-time highschool sweetheart but she broke up with me because maybe she fall out of love or she got bored of me. People can easily perceive me as a man who has no dreams, a loser. But in my heart, I got plenty. I want to be a police officer or an army. I want to build a house for me and my family. I want to be a businessman. And I want a Sniper. How in the world can I achieve my big dreams? Don't get me wrong but can I achieve a dream little by little by just catching fish? To be honest, I don't have a stable income from catching fish. For me, it is just a hobby. I would be glad if I caught one for dinner. I know in my heart that I needed to get a stable job.
My girlfriend may have perceived that I'm lazy and that I will be a nobody in the future. She may have thought that I love her because I need her. Oftentimes, she would ask if I would still lover her even when she is a cashier or a sales representative at a supermarket. I would say "yes" just so her heart can hear what she wants.
Our relationship is different. I feel like she deeply loves me but her family is a bit conservative. We are not in the same religion and I haven't finish a degree which maybe a reason why her family can disagree of me in the future. Of course, all parents want what's best for their kids and I totally understand that but I can't let her go.
So to you, reading this, what is your opinion? Care to share your thoughts.?
Lead Image is from Unsplash.com
Thank you for reading! Until then!
You are almost my son's age. My son will finish college in the middle of the year at 22 years oldd. I was able to pay for his college with a lot of sacrifice. He doesn't have a girlfriend but I have already told him that he can start looking for a partner because when he graduates he will be looking for a job and could maintain his relationship. You can do the same.