HEADLINES often speaks of women doing fascinating, well-paid jobs that were previously done exclusively by men. Some become state presidents, members of the government, TV presenters, stockbrokers, etc. However, it is true that the vast majority of women work in low-paid jobs with little chance of progress.
The point is that, despite legal victories and federal laws prohibiting discrimination against women at work, the employment situation of women workers seems to be deteriorating and not improving. "Progress? What progress?" The National Women's Organization was approved last year. "We're going backwards. Things are not even the same.
All this means that a woman hoping to find an interesting job at a high enough salary to guarantee her financial independence is likely to be disappointed. Not only is his job likely to be mechanical and maintenance, but if he pays someone to take care of his children while he is at work, he can barely balance. As there are usually other costs involved: transport, outdoor seating, work cabinets, more expensive cooked meals, laundry service, visits to the hairdresser - all this can be time consuming. a salary.
Speaking of work problems
In addition, the work environment can often affect a woman's nerves. Many people do not like slander, office politics, competitiveness and sometimes dishonesty in the dog-eating business world. The moral climate is not always encouraging. Many women have been sexually harassed at work by male employees or supervisors.
The Cornell Human Affairs program examined this problem and found that 92% of women surveyed consider sexual harassment in the workplace a serious problem and 70% said they experienced it personally. The research showed that sexual harassment, which she describes as constant observation and observation, continuous squeezing and squeezing of a woman's body, sexual suggestions supported by threats of job loss and extreme cases, including forced sex, are common to all. occupational classes, all age groups, all family backgrounds and all wage levels.
Is that the house?
Another problem for many working mothers is that work exhausts them. But when they get home, there is still a lot to do. In many cases, your husbands are no longer allowed to get involved and help in the house than your wives started working by taking on the extra burden of working outside the home. Works.
Consider, for example, a survey of physicians in the Detroit, Michigan area in 1976. She found that three out of four of these women were not only full-time physicians but also worked in the kitchen. Shopping and childcare for the whole family. and money management. Two-thirds of them had a housekeeper one or two days a week to help with laundry and housework, but the remaining third did all the housework.
The loss of energy in such a woman can be a serious problem when trying to carry a superhuman burden for a long time. Women who openly tried to do this acknowledge that housework inevitably suffers. A working mother admitted that she now takes towels out of the dryer and literally throws them in her panties to save time. Another said her husband complained when she could not iron her handkerchiefs; Now that you are at work, feel free to take it out of the dryer and put it in the box.
What will happen to the children?
While many men today are willing to ignore what they expect from their wives at some point, there is another problem that working mothers have a harder time sweeping under the rug: needs. of your children. They can say that the quality of the time they spend with their children is important, not the quantity, and that is true. However, a working mother can be so exhausted that the time and quality she spends with her children deteriorates.
Given this problem that working mothers face, the authors of a book encourage housewives to work on this trick when they return home to be received by their children who want to tell how their day was. : Beautiful lips flapped until mom had 15 minutes alone in her room to go out, change clothes and maybe have a quick martini. If necessary, close the door, as this is a very important part of the agenda for a mother who works for us. ""
The problem with this advice is that the working mother, like others, may find that she is gone when she is ready to welcome her children. His precious honesty when he shared the things that matter to him with his mother has disappeared and has been replaced by a silent barrier.
A psychiatrist who specializes in emotional conflicts in working women says that children do not like their mothers working. "Although children rarely complain that the father is not at home, they express anger over the mother's absence," he said. "The mother, they think, should be alone with them.
This psychiatrist claims that professional women have become intolerant of any form of abuse due to the liberation of women. "For those who have children," he says, "it means they expect their children to grow up from birth. They want their children to be more like them, resourceful and independent. And children are not prepared for that. ""
Even small children are not the only ones who need care, for example a mother and a housewife who have two grown children and a 16-year-old son who still lives at home. "You need to talk to the kids," he said, "to show them that you care about what happened to them that day. They will not do it voluntarily. And when you are not at home to discuss these things with them, find someone. By others. Who can you trust? How do you know if you can trust someone who is immoral or immature? ""
This mother added: “Two girls from the neighborhood, whose mothers work, often visit us after school until someone comes home. They say things they never say to their mother. If I suggest they do, they say their mother is too busy for them. ""
The problem with success
Some women become real business hits. They make a lot of money, they have a lot of influence and they are respected by companies. But their jobs generally require overtime and even travel. For the mother, this means that she not only has to leave her children but also her husband. But if you refuse to work overtime and travel, you could lose your job.
An American inventory manager, a position traditionally considered "male only" until recently, has to travel more than 30% of the time. He also has two twin daughters. Your solution? She has a housekeeper during the day and when she travels the man takes care of her when she comes home from work. When traveling, the average working day is 6 to 23 hours, which excludes motherhood, even if you are physically close to your children.
For a true "career woman", therefore, the home and the family must be of secondary importance, for as anthropologist Margaret Mead points out: "The constant care of young children, a man and a family is generally not compatible with the pursuit of a single career A good wife and mother stands in contrast to a good researcher, artist or CEO.
Attempts to combine an external career with caring for a family are often disastrous. One woman whose marriage ends explains: “My job almost became a lover for me. When I say that my career is growing in my life, it's because it's my life. "
But even non-professional workers need to realize how deeply a job can affect their marital relationship. A woman who returned to work after 20 years of marriage said: “I think Lew misses you a lot. . . And now I'm really mad at "Come on, help me pack." I think "package!" And I've never felt this way before. I was always happy to help because I thought that was my role. ""