Marriage and Courtship Behavior Patterns

People may be less likely to marry as single parenting and cohabitation (when a couple shares a home but not a marriage) have become more acceptable in recent years. When asked whether marriage is becoming redundant, 39 percent of respondents said yes in a recent poll (Pew Research Center 2010). The institution of marriage is likely to survive, but as new trends develop, certain previous marriage patterns will become obsolete. Cohabitation, in this sense, leads to the phenomenon of people marrying for the first time at a later age than in previous generations (Glezer 1991). Marriage will also continue to be postponed as more people prioritize their education and careers over “settling down.”

Is it better to have one or more partners?

Monogamy, or being married to only one person at a time, is commonly associated with marriage in the United States. However, in many countries and cultures around the world, one-spouse marriage is not the only choice. Polygamy, or marrying more than one individual at a time, is tolerated in 78 percent of cultures (Murdock 1967), with the majority of polygamous societies found in northern Africa and east Asia (Altman and Ginat 1996). Polygamy is almost always expressed in the form of polygyny. Polygyny is when a man is married to several women at the same time. Polyandry refers to when a woman is married to more than one man at the same time. It is much less common, occurring in just about 1% of the world's cultures (Altman and Ginat 1996). Polygamy's overwhelming prevalence can be attributed to a variety of factors, including population growth, religious ideologies, and social status.

Although polygyny is tolerated in most cultures, it is not practiced by the majority of people. In polygamous societies, less than 10% (and no more than 25–35%) of men have more than one wife; these husbands are mostly older, affluent, and high-status men (Altman and Ginat 1996). There are no more than three wives in the average plural marriage. In Israel, for example, Negev Bedouin men usually have two wives, but up to four are permissible (Griver 2008). Polygamy is likely to decline as these communities become more urbanized as a result of increased access to mainstream media, technology, and education (Altman and Ginat 1996).

Polygamy is socially immoral and illegal in the United States, according to the majority of people. Bigamy is described as entering into a marriage while still married to another female, and it is a felony in most states. Polygamy is still synonymous with Mormons in the United States, despite the fact that the Mormon Church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints) formally renounced polygamy in 1890. The Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (FLDS), on the other hand, adheres to historic religious values and traditions while still allowing polygamy.

Due to sensational media headlines like the Yearning for Zion ranch raid in Texas in 2008 and famous television shows like HBO's Big Love and TLC's Sister Wives, the prevalence of polygamy is often overestimated. In the United States, Canada, and Mexico, there are an estimated 37,500 FLDS who practice polygamy, although this figure has steadily declined over the last 100 years (Useem 2007).

Polygamy is a relatively new phenomenon among Muslims in the United States, with an estimated 20,000 practicing it. Polygamy among Muslims in the United States is rare, affecting only around 1% of the population (Useem 2007). For the time being, polygamy among American Muslims has gone largely unnoticed by the general public, however, like the FLDS, whose activities went unnoticed for decades, they may one day find themselves at the center of social debate.

Courtships

The conventional dating period before engagement and marriage is known as courtship (or long term commitment if marriage is not allowed). It's a different approach from arranged marriages, in which the couple or party does not meet before the wedding. A courtship is a period of time during which a person or group gets to know each other and decides whether or not to marry. Courting entails practices such as dating, in which couples or groups participate in a shared activity (e.g., a meal or movie). Courting can also take place without having to meet in person, thanks to modern technology. Virtual dating, online chatting, text messaging, phone conversations, instant messaging, writing emails, and giving gifts are all examples of modern courtship.

Courtship differs depending on the time span and area of the world. Courtship can last days or years, which is one of the ways it differs. A survey of 3,000 engaged or married couples in the United Kingdom found that the average time between first meeting and marriage was 2 years and 11 months. While most European-influenced cultures treat dates casually, courtship is a highly organized practice in some traditional societies, with very strict formal rules.

In certain cultures, parents or communities suggest prospective spouses, who are then allowed to date for a short period of time to see whether they are compatible (this was popular in the United States during the 1800s). Some parents in Japan employ a matchmaker to include pictures and résumés of possible partners, and if the couple or group agrees, a formal meeting with the matchmaker and sometimes parents in attendance is called Omiai. Arranged marriages, in which young people's spouses are selected for them, usually by their parents or (in the absence of parents) by local authorities, have effectively abolished courtship in more closed societies. Allowing only arranged matches and prohibiting experimental and serial courtship is partly a matter of protecting young people's chastity and partly a matter of advancing family interests, which in certain cultures may be considered more important than individual romantic desires. Bundling is another form of courtship that originated in Scandinavia and was brought to the United States by immigrants. Bundling entailed future partners spending the night in the same bed, despite the fact that they were not expected to have sexual relations. This practice came to an end in the late 1800s.

Young adults were required to court for the purpose of seeking marriage partners rather than for social purposes in previous centuries. By the 1920s, however, dating for fun had become the norm, and by the 1930s, it was expected that any famous young person would have a large number of dates. Pre-marital sex was not considered the rule, even though it was common, so this type of dating was generally more chaste than what we see today. The stigma of sex during dating started to fade as a result of societal changes prompted by the sexual revolution of the 1960s and 1970s. Instead of going on traditional partnered dates, today's couples prefer to "hook up" or "hang out" in big groups. A variety of college newspapers have published editorials in recent years in which students lament the lack of "dating" on their campuses. This may be due to a well-publicized study and initiative in 2001 funded by the conservative American women's organization Independent Women's Forum, which supports "traditional" dating. Furthermore, dating has developed in recent years and acquired the metamorphic properties needed to thrive in today's environment. The emergence of internet dating, speed dating, and incremental exclusivity dating is evidence of this (a.k.a. slow dating). Some argue that traditional courtship has passed its prime, and that the next best thing is incremental exclusivity, in which the partners respect and support each other's individual lives while maintaining the ultimate aim of being together, even though time or space does not permit it now.

A variety of scholars use courtship to describe gendering processes and sexual identity. Despite sporadic experiments dating back to the 1910s, systematic scientific study into courtship did not begin until the 1980s, after which academic researchers began to develop hypotheses about modern dating behaviors and norms. Moore and Perper both claimed that, contrary to common opinion, courtship is usually initiated and dominated by women, who are primarily motivated by nonverbal actions that men react to. A variety of scholars use courtship to describe gendering processes and sexual identity. Despite sporadic experiments dating back to the 1910s, systematic scientific study into courtship did not begin until the 1980s, after which academic researchers began to develop hypotheses about modern dating behaviors and norms. Moore and Perper both claimed that, contrary to common opinion, courtship is usually initiated and dominated by women, who are primarily motivated by nonverbal actions that men react to. Courtship, on the other hand, is still seen by feminist theorists as a socially constructed (and male-focused) mechanism designed to subjugate women. Although some criticize Feminist interpretations of courtship by pointing to women's support for courtship and their attraction to magazines about marital and romantic experience, such criticisms ignore the emphasis on marital and romantic relationships embedded within feminine socialization norms (in many cases as the sole element of women's value in male-dominated societies), as well as the widespread misunderstanding of courtship.

Courtship is a social mechanism that socializes both sexes into embracing modes of partnership that increase the chances of successfully raising children, according to systematic research into courtship processes in the workplace and two 10-year studies exploring norms in various international settings. This may have a negative impact on women, particularly those seeking work independence and equality.