It's interesting how we sometimes don't realize that our feelings, our dreams, our hopes can be ruined within a moment. And our lives turn into despair and desperation. It's one of those feelings that we've never quite felt before, we never know if it's true, or if we are simply deluding ourselves.
And it's not easy to find the balance in our lives again. It was one thing for me to question my own sanity, for the first few years after I started work. I desperately kept trying to make myself feel better. I realized I needed some sort of relief, having known that we can never truly escape the burden of what was left behind.
One of the best things was to focus on the future, to make plans, start dreaming again. It took me a while to realize how this worked. We're meant to move forward. That's what we're here for. To make it through. We have our jobs just to survive.
So it is a comfort to know that you are, after all...alive. It is one part of life that can not be easily described. To be alive, in your mind, without any more words to describe it, is quite simply a miracle. But we need to keep going forward, find some simple pleasures in our everyday lives.
That is what I believe in. Some days, there will be some days when the world is falling down, but then suddenly the sun comes out again, everything calms down, and new hope rises. This gives me hope. Hope that maybe things could be different. Hope that miracles could still be possible, that my children could live in this world. A lot of hope, I guess. Maybe. Life will always be like this. Every day…