The You That Could Have Been

The world around us and the people we know are clear to us. We watch their joyous times, their laughter, and their triumphs. And we often wonder why we are not as happy or as popular as they are. Then we look at ourselves and become conscious of our shortcomings and our incompleteness. We see the potential reasons for our unfortunate circumstances as our fears and lack of self-confidence. And we begin to wonder if something in our history really happened, maybe some traumatic tragedy that would have made us who we are today. We wonder what event was so significant that the way we see the world could have changed, and what experience was so significant that the course of our lives could have changed, leading us to where we are today? Finally, these thoughts lead us to ask this question: would we be happier, more successful, or better individuals than we are now if this event had not happened to us?

Tragedy will make us transform. It can lead us to build an entirely different system of belief that serves to shield us from the risk of more pain. And it can alter, through this the very nature of who we are. A tragic experience can lead us to believe that no one can trust us, or that we always have to plan for disasters, or that, inevitably, everyone in our lives will vanish. We come to embrace these values as absolute truths as time goes by. As a result, these beliefs will be the foundation of all our decisions. Also, we continue to dig around us for confirmation that our values are right by looking at how the lives of other people were destroyed by not adhering to these same tenets. As a result, we are improving our belief system and being all the more confident that we are right. Having passed through life holding on to these convictions, years and even decades go by.

And then one day, we start to wonder whether we would have lived our lives differently if this catastrophe had not changed the way we look at ourselves and the world so long ago.

It is a matter of serious consequence that we understand how the way we think will change a traumatic loss or an adverse event, for it may just decide how we spend the rest of our lives. A life-changing event will cause us to fear an uncertain future. And then we have to question whatever concepts such an encounter brings in. It helps to talk with people around us about our worries, fears, and anxieties, who can think clearly so that they can give us thoughtful input.

But often a loss or event that is traumatic may be a blessing. It can help us to understand what our lives are lacking. And this may give us a viewpoint that helps us to consider other individuals who may have had similar circumstances.

Our loss can become a force that helps us to communicate with other individuals, which can help us appreciate the importance of our own resilience and help others grow theirs.

Ultimately, we may continue to wonder if there could have been a different, happier, or the more productive version of ourselves. Or we could choose to appreciate the life we have been given and the sufferings that have turned us into who we are that we have overcome. Besides, we can understand in Health Fitness Posts that the story of our lives is not finished yet and that as we compose the remaining pages, we can always feel more fulfilled and victorious.

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