Maud Wu looked at the ripped book in her hands and felt concerned.
She walked over to the window and reflected on her beautiful surroundings. She had always loved industrial Plymouth with its impossible, ice-dancing igloos. It was a place that encouraged her tendency to feel concerned.
Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Wenna Rockatansky. Wenna was a cowardly god with skinny arms and handsome fingers.
Maud gulped. She glanced at her own reflection. She was an admirable, daring, wine drinker with slimy arms and tall fingers. Her friends saw her as a dead, dripping dolphin. Once, she had even helped a frantic injured bird cross the road.
But not even an admirable person who had once helped a frantic injured bird cross the road, was prepared for what Wenna had in store today.
The sleet rained like smiling rats, making Maud shocked.
As Maud stepped outside and Wenna came closer, she could see the curved smile on her face.
Wenna gazed with the affection of 1647 clumsy red rabbits. She said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want a kiss."
Maud looked back, even more shocked and still fingering the ripped book. "Wenna, I've got a new job," she replied.
They looked at each other with concerned feelings, like two many, magnificent mice smiling at a very thoughtless Christening, which had piano music playing in the background and two hopeful uncles hopping to the beat.
Suddenly, Wenna lunged forward and tried to punch Maud in the face. Quickly, Maud grabbed the ripped book and brought it down on Wenna's skull.
Wenna's skinny arms trembled and her handsome fingers wobbled. She looked cross, her emotions raw like a knowing, knowledgeable kettle.
Then she let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Wenna Rockatansky was dead.
Maud Wu went back inside and made herself a nice glass of wine.
THE END
Made up Reviews of the Short Story:
"I feel like I know Maud Wu. In a way, it feels as though I've always known her."
- The Daily Tale
"About as enjoyable as being hailed on whilst taking in washing that has been targeted by seagulls with the squits."
- Enid Kibbler
"Saying the sleet rained like smiling rats is just the kind of literary device that makes this brilliant."
- Hit the Spoof
"I could do better."
- Zob Gloop
