There are four easy steps to help you learn to relax the body, and at the beginning, each of these steps will take more energy and focus. Then these acts will become automatic through repetition.
1. Sitting on the floor with your legs crossed, if you can, is the first move. Sit in a chair, preferably one with a straight back, and put your feet firmly on the floor if you cannot sit on the floor. Place a firm pillow under them if your feet do not hit the floor. This is also an ideal position if you can not sit in a chair, but can lie down on your back. It is also fine to use a meditation table.
It is necessary to raise the pelvis if you are sitting on the floor, by sitting on a firm cushion or on folded blankets, as high as required for your back to be comfortably straight with your legs crossed. Moreover, for most individuals particularly those over the age of 45, it is important to have some kind of padding to supplement the raise of the knees. Under each knee, I use a rolled up cotton blanket, a twin-bed size. Some people use blankets, or strong pillows, that are rolled up or folded. I sometimes use a stack of books with a towel over them while traveling. The knees should rest securely on the object of support and not float freely in any way. This connects the sensation of the knee to the floor and reduces tension on the joints of the hip.
In order for your body to feel fully at ease, take the time to discover out what you need. You will be able to get everything in one place once you know what you need, and this will simplify the process of setting yourself up each time. While this can sound confusing, the ability to sit longer with greater ease and quiet can make a huge difference. I have students who can spend five minutes or more sitting in meditation with just five minutes to set up. But the advantage of those five minutes is profound and tangible, while it won't be advantageous to sit for fifteen minutes in even the slightest discomfort. In your chosen position, the body needs to be as relaxed as possible.
Take a deep breath and raise the front of your chest until you are seated. Then move the shoulder blades towards the spine gently. Align the head over the spine and tip the chin towards the chest slightly. Release all pressure from the shoulder-ders. If you have difficulty relaxing your shoulders, putting a small rolled-up hand towel in the armpit under each arm is also very helpful. It helps to maintain the shoulder girdle in its right orientation without any strain on the muscles. Finally, find a place for your hands that is comfortable and normal. I put my hands down on my feet, my palms down, or I put my hands down on my thighs, my palms up. Close your eyes tenderly.
It is also important to keep your jaw relaxed. You will touch the tip of your tongue to the roof of your mouth, just behind your teeth, after one month of sitting practice.
We have this body in a safe position now.
2. The second step is giving the body a direct internal message. The message is For the next period of time, you will sustain stillness (as long as you want to be in meditation)." At first, this will seem artificial or uncomfortable, but if you try it you may find that its utility lies in how it builds the will's strength. The essence of the body is such that as soon as we tell it to be still it gives us hundreds of reasons why it should move. We're going to have to cough, scratch our noses, move our ankles, lean back or forward a little or rub our eyes. We have spasms from swallowing and a host of other acute distractions. But we learn to cultivate the influence of the will over the body consciously, and we do this by psychologically giving the body a particular message that lets it realize it is no longer in control.
Initially, the daily practice of meditation must be incorporated into your life. The majority of people believe they have no force of will. But the force of will can be mastered. The will evolves as you set and achieve goals. It grows as you persevere in a cer- tain path, even though due to the pain or difficulty of persevering, the reasoning mind wishes to quit. When you sacrifice immediate gratification or comfort for long-term benefit, the will is also formed and strengthened. And eventually, repetition strengthens the will. Actions that encourage our well-being are often reinforcing the will, if performed regularly.
Training the body at this stage is like training a child, and the role of the benevolent parent must be taken up. Over a period of time, gentle, re-peated discipline and motivation progressively alters the body's behaviors, so that these usual "requirements" to move will vanish. We must be strong and gentle at the same time. "I recall softly talking to my stretching leg and saying, "If you just wait ten minutes, you can have the most delicious stretch, so just be a little patient, and I know that you're going to enjoy the reward.
It is important that the body knows how much time it takes to remain still. Use a timer (a basic kitchen timer, or a watch or digital alarm clock timer), so that the body can train itself for a given period of time to be still. It is best if the room is quiet when you start meditating, and if that is not possible, earplugs also help. In the beginning, meditating in low light instead of bright light is also beneficial. Furthermore the mind needs to realize that it can have an unin-terrupted span of time dedicated to self-awareness, relaxation, inner awareness, and inner silence. So switch off the phones, place a do-not-disturb sign on the door, and meditate when you are not expecting visitors for a period of time. Finally, I suggest choosing a specific location in your home and a specific time of day for daily meditation, as routine and regularity are positively affected by the body and mind.
We have a relaxed body now and we have a calm body now.
3. The third phase is breath perception. Of all the meditation instructions given, remembering the relation between one's consciousness and breath is the most important one. Breath awareness can transform meditation from a quiet mind's experience to a life-changing occurrence.
The beginning should be the consciousness of the breath any time you sit in meditation. Take a moment to watch the body, to feel the breath as it gets into and out of your lungs. This is the stage the timer begins at. The breath should be even and natural unless told otherwise by a particular meditation. When not in meditation, the air should not be deeper or shallower than your breath (so it is helpful to remember how your breath is in the course of your everyday activities).
Be an observer of your breath's motion. It sounds as though the breath is a pendulum that swings inward and outward. Let your breath quick, without any hitches or pauses. Making the breath, even at its outer edges, sound round as it naturally rises and falls. We have a relaxed, still body with sense of air now.
4. The fourth step is for those of us who suddenly have a rush in our minds at this stage about all the things we need to do that need our attention. I suggest you start the meditation with a pen and paper next to you and list all the needs or stresses at this stage, letting yourself know that these will be addressed after the completion of the meditation. Here again by taking care of how the next span of time will unfold, we engage the will.
Some people find it unnecessary to take this measure, and many do it only when they learn to meditate. However in his eighties, I have a friend who is a rabbi who experiences ecstatic meditation, and he still uses this method.
The mind has a rhythm, and the mind's rhythm is slow to alter. Many individuals assume that they will automatically go into an altered state when they sit down for meditation. Typically, the truth is very different. The first time you tried to ride a bicycle, ski downhill or drive a car, you might recall. It seems as if it's supposed to be easy, and it really is for some people. But it's a long learning and practicing process for most of us.
Sometimes during meditation, as people learn to meditate, their minds intensify, producing a rhythm that is somewhat painful. This is only one of the reasons why individuals end up thinking that they can't meditate or that it doesn't work for them. If we understand why the mind does this it helps in the starting process.
When we learn to meditate, there are two explanations why the mind initially increases its operation.
The first is that the mind is not used to receiving moments of external stimuli. The second explanation is that we concentrate our attention on the mind while we meditate, and the mind is used to being the instrument doing the focusing. The subconscious, in other words, is not used to being stared at; it is used to being what the look does. It produces more mental energy in its discom-fort, increasing its rhythm, in an attempt to use the act of thought to overcome this fresh and unfamiliar state.
Initially, it can seem hard to invest the requisite energy to train the body. However as deeper and quieter states of consciousness are reached, much of the effort will be re-warded to both the body and mind. The human body is the temple of the universe, but it is important to create every temple, including the universal ones, from a strong base.
How long will you be meditating? There is stronger meditation of some duration than no meditation. It's better than none at all if you just have five minutes. Ideally, the minimum will be twenty minutes in the morning and twenty minutes in the evening. But because we don't live in a perfect universe, if just fifteen minutes in the morning and nothing in the evening will make room for you then do that. Longer and longer periods of meditation will inevitably occur as you become more proficient in meditation.
Initially, beginning with very short time periods, three or four minutes, is the way to teach the body to be still. Add a minute or two or more per week if you have no trouble keeping your body silent. Up to twenty minutes to create.
There's an old story about the discovery of coffee by meditation practitioners who would sometimes fall asleep in the middle of their meditation. It tells us that for a while the topic of sleeping by meditation has been around. In this book, several of the meditations give the mind sufficient relaxation to remain awake and sufficient evenness of mind to feel calm. If you find yourself drifting into sleep often during meditation, make sure you get enough rest at night, and do your morning meditation when it's easier to stay awake. It should also be remembered that meditation relaxes the minds of certain people who are not usually able to relax, so it can be very helpful for the few minutes of sleep gained in meditation.
Recall these steps when you are sitting comfortably:
Increasing the chest gently
Moving the shoulder blades slowly toward the spine and relaxing the shoulders
Slightly draw the head back softly, so that you feel the back of the neck lengthening.
Tilt the chin slightly towards the chest
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Thanks for this refreshing article