Consciousness is identified with what is happening - as if projecting its self-identification onto external objects. In this facet, the ego is memory - thoughts about the forms of external reality. When external forms are destroyed, the ego identified with them suffers as if it were being destroyed. If the object is neutral, as, in the spoon example, the suffering is nominal.
However, if importance is attached to the object, things are different. When, for example, a person identifies with his car and gives this “part of himself” meaning, he suffers, when someone compares his car with a “cooler” brand, he suffers when his car is in an accident because a part of his ego is his self-identification at the moment is under threat of destruction. The ego consists of many false “I” - each person has dozens of such guises.
The coarser and "narrower" the consciousness, the stronger the identification with the false "I", because the false personality overshadows the whole sphere of perception.
When an avid car enthusiast has his only car in an accident, he can experience near-death despair. If he has a dozen such machines, then the projection of self-identification will be evenly distributed over all ten, and from the breakdown of one, the owner does not suffer so intensely. And if cars are not important for the owner, then he will not survive at all. This pattern can be traced in all personal qualities and external objects that a person owns. For a creative person, this is the undeniable talent and value of creations.
For a loving husband - a beloved wife, whom he, as part of his ego, takes seriously, worrying if her behavior does not correspond to his identifications. In a fanatic, the ego is projected onto the sphere of his fanaticism - in society he only speaks about what he is “fanatic for”, thus, asserting his own “I”. For this reason, novice esotericists are so eager to talk about chakras, MLM people talk about "building a business", Spartak fans - about matches, etc. On progressman.ru, I have already indirectly touched on this topic in an article about egregors, where I called the ego - “egregor named after myself”.
We act according to the principle of priority - according to the principle that some things are more or less important at the moment. Every person acts from the ego. Even if a war is going on somewhere on earth, for our person, a pimple on the forehead may turn out to be a much more important phenomenon, because it is directly related to self-identification. The very importance of what is happening in the next projection of the ego; this importance is conditional and subjective - each has something of its exceptional importance. But what if a person lives for others - is engaged in charity work, or helps loved ones?
All this is also done under the dictation of the ego. And there is nothing wrong with that. Here I would like to introduce such a term as "wise ego", which has found relative balance and compromise with life. Kind people enjoy helping others, they need to help - this is their self-identification. Life is easier for such people, but it is still a search and a lack of true acceptance of life. Here, for clarity, a line can be drawn between ego and egoism. Everyone is unique, or unique, just because they have their own set of false personalities with whom they identify.
When people attach importance or importance to the same thing, then a common interest arises - a program that unites them. Such people can become friends as long as they have a similar interest. Friendship itself is a program that friends mutually reinforce. Without reciprocity, this program loses an external supportive response and becomes less stable - not everyone is capable of being friends at one gate.
Sexuality is a powerful reinforcement of the ego's central identifications of bodily and personal qualities. Compliments, approval, and most importantly - direct intimate contact between partners - this is colossal nourishment of the ego - support for its unstable nature. Based on this, one can understand why sex is so actively discussed in our society, during the time.
