Tainted but still a Gem

Every person we encounter has a corresponding role in our lives. Some of them were meant to be our lesson, while others were meant to be our blessing. As we go on with our lives we make lots of friends. We usually say we are lucky to have many friends but we often forget that only a few were true to us.

I once had a childhood friend which I later considered a bestfriend during college. We were so close to each other. There were days and nights where I sleep at her house just to hang out, watch movies, talk about life and also times where she goes to our house to hang out. We often go out, have a food trip or chill out by the beach, sitting on the seawall. There were no secrets between us for we were very open to each other. We both know whom we're in love with, our crushes and enemies. Good old days indeed. She was a great friend not until something came in between our friendship.

I have this man which I acknowledged as my "first love". We never officially dated, though our feelings were mutual, because we were young back then and I was focused on studying. In spite of what happened, we both chose not to change anything, that nothing will change. My bestfriend knows everything about him and we even hang out together. Only to my surprise, they communicated with each other. They both meet each other without telling me anything until something happened between them. I never thought that they could become "that" close and would even have sex together.

I can really say that girls have power. Before I knew about the two of them, I already have this feeling that there is something going on between them. Every time we hang out, the way they look at each other were different. Back then I felt something is different but I only ignored it. Upon knowing the whole truth, I listened to both of their stories but only ended up getting confused as to who really tells the truth. I was kind of lost that time and broken. I cried a lot for it was my first time being betrayed by a bestfriend.

With that, everything have changed. We were not close anymore although we still talk to each other. There is this certain "awkwardness" whenever I talk to her. I really have a difficulty forgetting but I can forgive. Only that I can't trust and believe her anymore unlike when we were so close. There is now a gap between our friendship and I can say, she is now just a friend to me and not a bestfriend anymore. I do care for her but I have this kind of wall when it comes to her.

I missed what we have back then but I know, everything was meant to happen in order for me to become stronger. She is now happily married, I am blessed with my boyfriend right now and that "first love" of mine is also happy with her girlfriend. Turns out, GOD just led me to the right person to trust and to love.