Too TIRED of being SORRY and REGRETS

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Sometimes life is full of sorry and regrets, by being born and always having sorry from the things we did wrong. It's not that we choose it, but it's our fate which we consider as our pathways in living our lives to this messy world. I have lots of regrets in life, though I'm so sorry, yet it can't be replaced to change and correct those mistakes I made. I literally sometimes ask myself about "Why was I born and have this life?", "Do I deserve to be forgiven?", "What did I do wrong to give me this burden?". There are too many questions in my head, some are being answered, some are not yet answered.

In life, regret is always at the end and for me it is the most painful thing I could have, yes I've been there and it really hurt me actually. I always end up sorry and regret every time I am making a decision for myself. I just thought that it would maybe be good for me, but then at the end I realized it's not. As usual I also end up crying in silence and blaming myself. Maybe it's normal, but if it's intentionally done well I guess that makes me immature? Somehow some people told me so 😅

Others say, sorry is a very hard and difficult word to say to someone, especially when you are a very prideful person. Hence, I had that kind of attitude inside of me. It was in the scenario when I made a mistake to a friend and I wanted to say sorry to him, but it feels like, if I say sorry that would hurt my pride. When I'm about to say, my heart wants it but my mind doesn't, because for me saying sorry is for the loser! Isn't it? Until I realized it's not because in God's holy word it is about humbleness, nobody is a loser, every one of us is a victor.

I'm just too tired of always being sorry and end up crying because of regrets from the choices I make as well as from the mistakes I've made. If I will count all my sorry and regrets, maybe the world isn't enough to become a space to put it all. Too much to say that I deserve it all, but because of that I've learned and still continue my life no matter how many regrets and regrets I will say and feel. In other words, I also deserve to become happy and free to do what I want in life. We only live once, so even if I regret and feel sorry today, tomorrow is another day to move forward, life doesn't stop teaching.

Some people are sometimes too naive by putting themselves in a situation that they will easily get hurt. If I ask them they only say that they are happy with it even if they always end up being fragile and hurt. As in, they can't hear even a single word of sorry from the person who made them suffer. I had a friend with a situation like this and until now she suffered from being hurt, and because I'm both friends with that boy and girl, all I did was to help the girl and tell her sorry and to give up. Guess what happened? Every word I told her was all in vain and useless to her, she didn't listen to me and to my other friends who gave her advice. That's her choice by the way, but I was just wondering why she would still choose to hurt herself rather than to move on? Well I assume I will move on because I already was ☺️ I also hope my friend can do it.

Final Thoughts

It's normal to feel sorry and regrets about life and to all the failure decisions we made. This is a very important lesson that I've learned while I am writing this blog today, not because I already experienced it but because it teaches me every single day. As I've said, life never stops teaching and we, as human beings, won't stop going and learning.

P.s: "I really mean it everytime I say sorry"

This would be all for my write ups today, I hope you caught a lesson from these random thoughts in my head and from my real life experiences.

"TOO TIRED OF BEING SORRY AND REGRETS"

~Thank you for reading~

Date Published: June 1, 2020 | Wednesday

Article #44 ✍️

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