Causes of Sibling Rivalry and How to Mend Sibling Rivalry

Sibling Rivalry in Childhood Can Damage Sibling relationship in Teenage and Adulthood

Sibling rivalry is one of the less talked about topics in parenting, yet it is one of the deadliest things that need to be handled early. If sibling rivalry in childhood is unchecked, it can damage sibling relationships in teenage, adulthood, or lifelong, so to speak.

Sibling fighting may be a normal phenomenon in a family, nonetheless, it may create bad consequences. Fighting may be verbal or physical, but in any case, you have to do a moderator’s role. Even though you might see sibling rivalry in preteens, teens, or adults, sibling rivalry actually arises while in the toddler stage.

Causes of Sibling Rivalry

Children do not understand the value of the relationship, therefore fighting is a common phenomenon. As the children become teens, jealousy and a sense of competition outgrow. Jealousy and a sense of competition prompt teen sibling disputes. Even adults have a bad relationship with siblings. Adult sibling dispute, or sibling rivalry, is caused by something bad that happened earlier in life, or due to recent happenings.

Competition for parental love, or seeking attention and favor, is one of the main causes of sibling rivalry. Attention seeking is natural, and what is unnatural is unfair
treatment of children based on his/her performance at school or home. If you want to stop sibling rivalry, give fair treatment to all of your kids.

If you are raising teens, you must know that jealousy is very common among teens. Differences in performance in education, life skills, and income lead to jealousy, which is the main cause of teen sibling disputes. Your biased treatment and comparison between the children may lead to severe consequences.

If You Are a Parent, What Can You do About Sibling Rivalry in Your Preteens and Teens

Consult a specialist if the aggression in your children is very high. Too much aggression could point to attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) in children.

Use reward and punishment techniques to stop children from fighting. Reward them when they follow your instructions, such as taking them for outings or giving them a new toy. As a punishment, don’t allow them to use the computer, TV, or toy.

When you see your children fighting, don’t overreact. Be calm and separate them. Don’t talk to them until they have cooled down. Listen to the different versions of the story, but don’t take sides even though you find one of your children is at fault. In case your kids do not get along together, don’t make them do something together. This will only ensure fighting.

Try to find out the cause of fighting. When you know the reason, you can avoid the situation. If your children are fighting over the same thing such as TV, computer, book, or toy, tell them they cannot use it until they agree to use it together. If your kids begin to blame the other, tell them they both are at fault because one cannot clap with one hand.

You must treat your children according to their age. Don’t expect a kid or teenager to understand everything. Don’t let your older child get away with everything, and don’t let your younger child take advantage of his young age.

First published on Forum Coin in author's name