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The Horror of a Breastfeeding Mom `12.11.22` How's everybody doin' and did you see Rusty? I wonder what he's doing. He might be preparing for the holidays and be a secret Santa that we've been waiting for. The wonders of female human anatomy to bear a child and to provide food naturally in their bodies. Let me just share a bit of my breastfeeding journey up to this day. *DISCLAIMER: I am not against formula feeding. Breastfeeding and formula feeding has their own benefits. It's the mother's decision on what they prefer or what could work on their lifestyle.* As for me, when I got pregnant I was battling between breastfeeding or formula feeding. I was actually inspired by my sister who's been breastfeeding for 3 years now. Me? I've been breastfeeding for 19 months. How did I decide to breastfeed? I decided to resign from my job when I got pregnant, and I haven't been employed since. I weighed the pros and cons financially, bf-ing wins, of course. Sacrificing my time and body to provide food for Lil B. Being not employed, breastfeeding and taking care of Lil B myself is the best that I can do. When to wean? That should be decided by the mother too. It's always advised to breastfeed the baby up to 2 years old, but again it's a case to case basis. Me? I have thought of weaning Lil b but as much as I want to, I don't know if my body and my motherly mind can let go of that thought easily. It's more like I want to get a job, have me time, but the mother in me says 'just a few years more or up until you can'. The question I ask myself is *WHEN*? Running out of milk This is every mother's worry. Whether for a bf mom or a formula feeding mom. It's very hard to think that we won't be able to provide the first thing that babies need. I myself had a couple of problems when Lil B was less than a year old. Even if I drink more water, sleep more, get enough rest, drink supplements, STRESS is the biggest factor or reason why my milk almost ran out. Last night I got worried. While I was putting Lil B to sleep, she somehow transferred every few minutes from left to right boob. I got worried that she might not be getting milk. I asked her if she wants milk, she nodded. After a few more minutes of sipping she got up and played her toys instead while looking really sleepy. I got up too and put milk on her glass and let her drink. She drank it and after finishing, she played a little more and suddenly asked for more milk. That was the time that I know that she wasn't getting milk from me. I got worried. This morning I told my husband if we can buy M2 concentrated drink from Andok's.

Right after we had lunch at Andok's, I drank M2 and then the magic happened. I can feel that I got my milk back. I have tried other lactation treats before and the magic really worked. Reason? Honestly, I don't know. Maybe I was just feeling a little bit tired physically because we went to my husband's Christmas party the other day. It could also be that I am unconsciously anxious about a few things. Maybe I lack sleep. I don't know. All I know is I am scared that I may ran out of milk too early than I expected. I plan to breastfeed her up to 2 years old and slowly wean her, but not this soon. Please. Please. Please. I know my body gets tired from breastfeeding but it's very very worth it.

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