You and the dark

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Have you ever been rejected? You hope and you've seen the opportunity laid down, you feel like the whole world is with you. But out of a sudden, everything crumbles and out of nowhere everyone is against you. 

Be it your parents, your siblings, your special someone, your teammate, a certain someone whom you just met, your colleague, your boss, your best friend, the world, even your own principles and all the people around you that you thought will be there for you anytime. You question yourself, everyone, even God. 

I understand how it sucks to be denied your feelings, your pure intentions, your hope, your happiness and most especially of your expectations. You feel uncertain anymore. You are afraid of doing the same thing all over again. Afraid that you'll get the same sick feeling of grievances, suffering and cut of the heart. You lose hope and confidence. Hope turns empty.

And it sucks, to feel nothing anymore even if you wish you had. Even if you want to hope. But there's nothing in there. Just black empty spaces.... You feel nothing. Not sad. Not happy. Not in between. Because there's none. Nothing else is left. And you want to bleed just to feel. But even those deep cuts won't make you feel the pain.

And it's the most scary feeling I don't ever want to feel again. It's like I'm falling in the deep, deeper, deepest dark empty spaces. Without ending. Without the red light to stop. Just you and the dark. 

And after so many rejections, I found learning disguised from the pain and feeling.

Rejection is part of my life, your life and everybody else. Feel the cut, grieve, grieve, grieve and let yourself heal. It may be hard to accept but don't throw away your own rights.

Don't take away your feeling of being hurt. Don't throw away the feeling of suffering. Don't throw away your own hope. Don't throw away your own sadness. Don't throw away your fear. Feel the pain. But don't let the pain make you feel numb. Don't let the pain make you want to feel the pain.

Don't let the pain long for the pain and stab you and me in the dark.

Sorry! I was a bit dark right there. You see when I'm all alone here in the dark. And the feeling of being alone is crazy, I'm shit like this. Nah you don't wanna feel that. Haha.

Expect more of this in the next following days coz I don't know whenever I'm alone I always create dark and empty words of thoughts. Probably coz there's no one to talk to. Hahaha.

Kidding aside, have you ever been rejected?I've been rejected a lot, as a kid, by society, by my parents, job interviewers and many more.

Do you believe rejections come from assumptions and expectations? I realized that when you assume that in a very little act of kindness that he/she might like you like the way you like him/her but they really don't, you are the one allowing yourself to get that pain. I just realized that each and everyone have a set limit of standards.

For example, 

I got this friend. When he likes someone, he talks to this particular person every single day. So when someone talks to him, every single day, he thinks that 'someone' likes him, like the way he does.

And I also got this friend who likes to know and talk more because that's how he gets business connections. Not because he likes someone involving deeper connections.

Thus, I realized, maybe I should refrain from always relying on my set of standards but not violating them. Not because you think and feel you are right, you are right, but always remember the other party also thinks they are also right. Because clearly, your perception is your own ideals. Lucky you to have met someone with the same beliefs in life. 

And yeah this proves the election results. 😅 Naisingit pa! Haha.

Ask never assume, or assume unless otherwise stated! 😅😅

Thank you for reading!

Photo attached is taken by me! That's my sistah!. 😝