@Meyzee 17 July 2021 more from that month

Age doesn't matter II

Age doesn't matter to me, so is to Kim. But her energies depicts different priorities.

I couldn't help but smile as I walk in the mall's hallway. Remembering the smile of Kim when she received the gift sends a whole different meaning to my system. I went there to relax a bit more and buy something, it has been two days, and I can't still contain the feels. I am on my way to the department store, to buy what my Mother's asked me. When I saw the girl whom I bought the bikini with. The sales lady. ***"Oh hey, the bikini guy!"*** I just smiled at her and response a hi. But she is persistent. She asked me about what happened to my gift and I end up telling her what had happened. The thing is, after reading the letters of "I love you" Kim just told me, "*Aw, Thanks,*" it was her only reply. And then she opened the gift. As she lay down the field of grass. She doesn't look offended and she just smiled, wondering if how I got her size correct. And then she just smiled and says she liked the bikini and she will try them on later. And then the kids came and we parted ways after. "***Oh she didn't say I love you too***?" was the reply of the sales lady. I become more confused of what she asked. Should Kim said that? "***You said that she's a mother of two, and she likes your gift but she never said she love you back. Did you asked her?***" She continue and said her goodbyes leaving me stuck and bewildered. That girl! I hurriedly bought what my Mother asked me. Drop it at home and drive faster to where Kim lives. Her son and daughter, was playing on the garden. And I am looking for an opportunity to talk with Kim. And finally when the kids get hungry she goes to the Kitchen, and prepare some food. I followed her then. "***Hey, you know I am in love with you right?***" She stop her way out to give the food to the kids and instruct me to come over her. "I ***know. Come here***." She told me to sit down on the chair near her, and pat my shoulder. "*I have hinted it before, by your actions, why you gave me gifts, but I refused to acknowledge it, maybe its the right time to tell you, it wasn't you okay? You are special to me too, like my kids, don't get me wrong, you are a great person, you are genuine, its just that we feel different things for each other, you were like a brother to me, and you are awesome. You deserve someone of your age, and my kids are my priority now. If I live 10 years ago, and you were there too, I would have fallen in love with you, or if I haven't had kids today I would fall for you too. But, the thing is, your idea of me and you? It is not possible today neither tomorrow. I hope you understands. I didn't say it to break you, or build walls for yourself, but to prepare you of your future. Time, its the most precious thing, I would have to consider and I choose to spend it with my kids, to nurture and love them, you have seen how hard is to handle them. And I know I can't give you time, when you would need it, because it is so much work and it is entirely different. I am so sorry. It is not because you are young, it is because I have something to choose and prioritize. But I want to remind you that you are lovable, and I am not the right girl, who deserved it. You'll get by this. I hope you understands.*" She said it gently holding my hands and then pat again my shoulder while she headed out to bring the food in the garden. I know, I want Kim to like me back the way I feel about her. I desperately want it. But, the story of us wouldn't be possible. Because she choose to give it up, before we even started. I spend my last remaining vacation day in my room. Mourning for my broken heart. Whether, I'd slowly rebuild them, I hope I do, to love again. Age might be the reason, but I know how Kim wanted to focus more on her children, and how she was trying to fill the voids of the presence of the kids father. Maybe I was really young, and cannot bear big responsibilities like that. I am slowly understanding it right now, but my heart, at a young age have fallen so deep and I hope of its fast and reliable recovery. Age doesn't matter for me, age doesn't matter to Kim, but she has different priorities. Maybe if Kim doesn't have kids she might have choose me. And that what made me feel even more better. We cannot choose to love, we cannot predict whom we are going to love. Some learns to love, and others choose to not to. I realize, that forever is superficial, and love isn't forever, love is a choice, and choosing to stay in love everyday, every worries, every problems, sounds like forever. Funny that, pain is like love it doesn't last forever, unless you choose to. For me, I choose to let go my love for Kim, hoping that one day, at the right time, with the right girl, It will fall more deeply with much much higher intensity. T H A N K S F O R R E A D I N G !!! Credits....... Thanks to Joshua Hoehne @mrthetrain for making the lead image available freely on Unsplash 🎁 https://unsplash.com/photos/0F4duBPWlCw Ps. Sorry! Haha 🙈🤪