The Rise of Electoral Altars

You are such a fool, how on earth could you let that happen? Screamed Athena. I was vehemently trying to explain to her, but she wasn't going to have any of it, before long she was getting to her point of violence. I tried to walk away, but I was too late, as I heard the wooshing sound of an object cutting through the air at break-neck speed. Before I could figure out what it was, I heard a crashing sound, instantaneously followed by a cracking sound before I collapsed to the ground( the cracking sound; that was skull getting open).

She quickly ran to me, raised me up from the floor and wrapped her hands around me, pleading with me not to die, not to leave her and not to close my eyes, all the while screaming for help. As I gradually faded away, I struggled to keep my eyes open, and right about that time another loud sound GBO!! That was my face receiving a hot slap from the well constructed hands of my mum. I jumped out of my horrible dream and out of bed at the same time in one fell motion. Within nanoseconds of the sleep, I was standing upright. As much as the slap hurt, I was shall grateful the nighmare/dream had ended.

Jide, you have no plans to go to church today, do you? She asked. Mummy no na, my clothes are already ironed, I just need to bathe and dress up. When do you plan to dress up, midway through the service? That slap was not necessary oo, I said ( with grievances written all over my face, but I knew to keep it in moderation make she nor do plastic surgery for my face with her magic hands😂).

We shall went to church; while others were hoping to have a good day fellowshipping with God, I was hoping I would finally get Athena's number; I really need to rearrange and reshape those her hips( if you know, you know😂😂). The service was proceeding orderly and fine, and I kept looking at my watch wishing I could shift the hands of time. As the intercessory prayers was hoing on, a convoy rolled right in front of the church entrance and a young man jumped out of the last car with a roll of red carpet, spreading it before the backdoor of the Range Rover in the middle of the convoy.

The pastor had just instructed the crowd to pray to God for the next ten minutes in their different local dialects, we were barely two minutes into it when the Incumbent Governor walked in, red carpet strewn accross the aisle way. Pastor wrapped up a supposed ten-minute prayer in two minutes, without even saying the customary 'in Jesus name' he simply just screamed, amen! amen!! amen!!!

Intercessory prayer turn hype session. The Pastor spent the next eight minutes doing the job of a Hypeman as the governor made his way to the seat meant for the ministers ( as what ni!). As much as I wanted to wait to collect Athena's number, in that moment i just wanted to leave the church, bur the fear of my Mother was the beginning of wisdom for me😂😂). My breaking point came when the Pastor literally gave the altar to the Governor to do what was supposed to be an admonition ( low budget sermon), baba change it to a campaign and the church was hollering as he went on with his rubbish.

I totally forgot that I was holding an active microphone, and I soon heard my voice boomeranging from the speakers, guess what I was saying when it happen? Mr Governor, you dey whine me abi you dey whine your own nipples? Omo!! Wahala don set. As much as I feared my mum, I just couldn't take it anymore and left church immediately.

This scenario is completely fictional, but it's what has gradually become our reality in this country. We usually go to church to fellowship with God, but gradually what ought to be a fellowship with God is becoming all sort of things ranging from an entertainment centre, to a business seminar, and the worse of them all, a campaign ground!! How dare we do that? How dare Pastors stand by and even encourage the misuse and defilement of God's sanctuary?

Politicians who haven't gone to church for years will attend multiple services during the election year, telling us how God chose them to become our leaders; ah ah! Them dey whine us?. The church that was supposed to serve as a place for spiritual enlightenment is now turning to a place where we are deceived and herded to the ballot boxes like sheep unto a slaughter. The worst part of it all is that we know all these people do is lie and deceive and quite often destroy.

They are quick to donate huge sums of money to these churches, as if to buy the conscience of the church and sadly it works. I am a Christian or i think myself to be one, but I am not a very religious person, still these happening are still as disgusting to me as the word can get. So, why aren't the church leaders seeing the wrong in this? How can a clergy in good conscience give a platform to someone to lie and deceive so many people?

Conclusion

I know you might see this rant as unnecessary, after all, it's not even election year, but we have to start having these conversations now if we are going to take back our church and restore the sanctity of God's house. Let the house of God be the house of God, and let only his affairs be done in his house.