"I have heard everything from Nadia. She is my cousin. Bigger than her. She is my best friend. I have shared everything in my life with her. Even the very secrets that only people keep in their minds. "I'm sorry to hear that you tried to do this to Nadia. I hated myself so much. I wanted to spend the rest of my life in love with a lustful man like you."
But Nadia opened my eyes. I could have told you the words on the phone but I wanted to see your rude, naughty brand face. You have always shown your decent look. But I have come to see the man who lives in the midst of your civilized face. I wanted to see how disgusting the bad guy inside you was. I saw. Don't try to keep in touch with me. I'll forget you, forget me too. "
When Adiba said the words, I realized that even my last hopeful did not believe me, trying to push me away by misunderstanding. I did not want to say anything. People can never be held to themselves by force. Even if it is kept, it does not last long. I have been running after the mirage for so long by mistake. That was just waiting for the opportunity. He is using the opportunity he got today. Here too I feel guilty. Because no one will live with a bad person knowingly.
"I won't say much, be good. And your cousin has to be good too. But I believed in my heart that even if everyone in the world misunderstood me, you would understand me, at least everyone in the world would think me bad. If you say I'm a bad person, don't have a relationship with me, then you feel bad. I know why, I still can't be pure, but I'll wait for it to happen. Again, your cousin has to be very, very good. Bad people like me don't come. "
Adiba was still silent when I said the words. He kept quiet and said he didn't want to talk to me anymore. But I thought Adiba would say something to every answer. But even my soaked throat could not break his silence.
The two of them are leaving. I am looking at Nadia girl and thinking. How beautifully a man can make a plan and turn another man's life into hell is incomprehensible to this girl. Who would have thought that this beautiful innocent girl has ruined the beautiful life of a boy. Just because the boy had a bad idea about the girl. The girl was afraid that if the boy told everyone about her, she would not be able to show her face in front of anyone. Maybe that's why he presented the boy in front of everyone in such a way that now not a single person in the world believes in him. The girl is also convinced that no one will believe her words even if she tells Mike now. Everyone will think the boy is crazy.
I felt like I had no one to talk to except me. Even though there are so many people in Dhaka city, there is no one for me. So I did not feel any need to stay in Dhaka city. What else will I do? Where will I stay? Who will feed? Tears came to my eyes at the thought of all this. I have never been so helpless. I have never in my life had to admit to so much helplessness. But it happened today. Maybe that was my destiny.
Finding no place to go, I went to my grandfather's house. Although my uncles ended all relations with us twelve years ago. I never talked to my uncles after my mother died. They also never did any research. They may have forgotten that they have a nephew. However, my grandfather's financial situation was already much better. So I knew that when they found out I was their nephew they might not throw me out.
My grandparents were very happy to see me, but my uncles could not be happy to see me. Maybe their love was for their sister. As my sister died, so did their love for me. But I did not regret it. Because living a good life is a battle where getting the news from someone's mind is nothing but a luxury.
I was at my uncle's house for two years. In these two years I have had to do a lot, endure a lot of insults. But in these two years, I have learned a lot, the meaning of life. Life is not so simple, life is a complex problem. We have to survive by solving this problem. I was alive too.
I had four uncles. They all had sons and daughters. I taught everyone at night. I used to teach even though I didn't want to. Because they are the ones who have given me shelter with double food. Every day I would go shopping. My uncles never asked me to do anything. The aunts used to say that. I couldn't help but think of them. I would be scared if he kicked me out of the house. So even if it was hard, I would do everything for everyone. Yet I could understand that my aunts were upset with me for some reason. But I could not find the reason to be upset. My grandparents loved me a lot. Maybe their love would help them find a little happiness in the midst of so many things.
I passed HSC from my uncle's house. I also get very good results. But there was no one to be happy with my result. I was very happy with myself that day. Then I test in many places. Luckily I got a chance at a public varsity in Dhaka.
From my uncle's house I came back to my old city Dhaka. I left this city two years ago. Today, after two years, I am back in Dhaka.
I told some older brothers about my financial situation. That's why a big brother gave me a big tuition. With that, even if I have trouble for now, the month will go by. Something can be done later. I moved to Dhaka with this in mind. Before coming, Nana gave me some money which is very useful for my admission in varsity. And I keep some money with care for the future.
Today is my first day of tuition. So getting a little tidy. Because the elder brother said they are very rich. That is why a tuition teacher will keep with so much money.
When my elder brother took me to the student's house, he said he would introduce me. Then a beautiful girl opened the door as soon as the doorbell rang. I just stood towards the girl. Because this girl is the curse of my life. Because of this girl, a big storm came down in my life two years ago. That storm left me destitute. Even today I am destitute.
There are some miraculous things in this world that happen to people over and over again. I could play very good cricket when I was in ninth grade. But I had a bad luck. Whenever I got down to bat on the pitch, the ball would automatically get better. No matter how bad the bowler was, his ball would have been the best. It seemed like the best ball in the world came when I went down to bat. This has happened to me many times. As soon as I got off, the young ball became automatic with the first ball and I also got out. But many people saw the first ball was bad.
That's how I meet this cursed girl again and again. But since that day, I have longed for my death in life, I will not have any regrets. I welcome you. But I never met this girl for the second time. But it happened, I met this girl twice about this. I do not understand what Bidhata wants from me? Why did you introduce me to this girl for the second time. I know how scared I am of this girl. I also know how much danger this girl can put me in for her own benefit, I have already got the proof of that very well.
I'm in a situation where it wouldn't be too much of a mistake to call life in the middle of death. If I had someone to take care of me, I might have abused this girl named Nadia and slapped her twice on the cheek. But I don't have that situation or ability. Because I have to support myself. Nadia's younger brother will be Mebi. I will get five thousand rupees at the end of the month for teaching him. I have to live in a corner of Dhaka city without eating. I have to survive, I have to live anyway. There is a long way to go. My father has to answer that I did not die without his help, I am very well alive. So I have to endure everything and move forward. There will be obstacles in the life of every human being, more will come in my life. I should not go back after seeing these, let me go forward to my destination.
It's not just that I'm surprised. The arrogant girl also looked at me for a while. I realized he had never expected me to be here like this. He never thought he would see me again. But I understood that he was happy to see me. It would be wrong to say that I just understood. I knew in advance, because I knew about him. I still can't forget what he thought of me. No one else in the world knows what he said to me, but I do know.
"Nadia, her name is Aminul. I know her younger brother. She is a very good student. This time she got a chance in DU. In your department. From today she will also teach your younger brother."
After saying the words, the elder brother left. And I stood silently in front of Nadia.
After a while, a middle-aged woman came and said to Nadia,
"Take the boy to Sohan's room." Mentioned Sohan Nadia's younger brother.
Saying the words, the woman went inside. I could guess that the woman is the mother of this grumpy girl.
The first day I did not want to teach. I'll just introduce myself, I'll just recognize the house. But seeing the student, he seemed a little happy to get a new master. He will read from today. So I was forced to start teaching. While teaching, I noticed that Nadia was peeking through the gap in the door and looking at me repeatedly. I didn't go looking for the reason. Because I’ve always wanted to keep myself away from this cursed serpent, still want to. I don't want to be hurt again by the touch of this poisonous man.
I have heard many tuition stories from my elder brothers. The joy that comes from tutoring at the home of a student's beautiful young sister may not be found in any other home. If the tuition teacher is a little beautiful and smart, then the beautiful girl will never look away while teaching, it has never happened, nor will it happen in the future. But I did not like to know why this thing. I am teaching a boy and a beautiful girl is watching me secretly. It was beautiful, but I was annoyed. But I'm sure I would have liked to have had another girl in her place.
I left there like the first day. I thought we might or might not talk. But did not. But I am very happy not to talk.
I could not go to class for the first few days due to some personal problems. Because suddenly my grandfather died. I wanted to never go to my grandfather's house again but I had to go even if I didn't want to. I cried a lot at the death of the man who was by my side in my bad times. I don't know if I cried the day my mother left me. Because I was very young then. But seeing Nana's dead face, I couldn't hold back my tears. A few days ago, the man handed me twenty-five thousand rupees and said,
"I will study well. Never think of yourself alone, never feel helpless. Let no one else be, I am. Let me know if you need money."
His words that day gave me a lot of courage. That is why I went to Dhaka, the city of interest, with the dream of surviving in Dhaka city.
The thought of this man leaving me today made me feel unbearable pain in my chest.
That afternoon I moved to Dhaka. My uncles didn't insist, I didn't want to either. So I left after the janaza. When I went to class in the morning, I went to the campus and saw what was missing.
I loved the one I trusted the most in my life. The man is walking holding the hand of another handsome boy. Yes, Adiba is walking hand in hand with another boy with great fascination. Nadia is also with him, although Nadia has some girl friends. Why couldn't I be like Adibar? Why couldn't I re-arrange my life with someone like him? Why can't I love someone else? He wanted to know himself very well. I am a very stupid person. I thought I had to be smart before I could be pure. Because I'm a really stupid person. That has always been getting grief from people.
Will continue ..........