Ami topu

Dr. Mohammad Zafar Iqbal

Episode ......1

Something happened to my mother. I don't know what happened. Honestly, I don't even know how something happened, but I'm pretty sure something happened to my mother. Blind people cannot see with their eyes because they feel everything with words. I'm actually like a blind man, I don't see my mother. I met my mother when she beat me. The rest of the time I feel my mother with words. I could hear my mother's every word from my small bed in the storeroom. Mommy is waking up, going to the bathroom, looking out the window, humming and singing - I listen to her every word carefully. Laughing while watching television shows, listening to music on CDs. Or sitting at the dinner table and talking to my brother and sister, listening to everything, they are stuck in my head. Suddenly when I was met, at a moment when anger was on fire, when he jumped on me violently, I still understand when my mother is. Do. I have tried to understand my mother for the last three years just by hearing words like a blind person, so when I sit in the corner of the storeroom and suddenly can't hear the familiar words of my mother, I realize that something has happened to my mother. Even at the dinner table, my mother does not speak like before nowadays. Many times he finished eating in silence. Sometimes I want to see my mother, but I do not have the courage. That night I took Mickey by the hand and whispered to him. It's become a habit of mine these days to tell him in detail what has happened all day. I know no one will believe me but I know why I think Mickey can understand everything! Suddenly I spoke a little louder without knowing it. I am talking to someone to see why my mother came to the kitchen, listening to my voice, to come to the storeroom silently. I didn't notice, I suddenly looked up and saw my mother standing in the doorway, looking at me in surprise. Mickey was sitting on the palm of my hand, he also looked at my mother in surprise just like me. Ammu's face became crooked with disgust, she distorted her face and said, what is it in your hand? I was going to lower my hand and hide Mickey but it was too late. Mom shouted, rat? Rat in your hand? I tried to push Mickey away but the stupid rat didn't understand it, thought it was another game, jumped up, put his hand on my shoulder and looked at my mother. Seeing my mother, I thought I would turn my head and fall. He looked at me with wide eyes, I know now my mother will scream like a kite, then she will jump on me with whatever she gets in her hand. But I saw that my mother did nothing, she just stared at me with wide eyes. I stopped breathing without looking at her and looked at my mother. She also looked at me. After a while I felt like my mother was looking at me but not looking at me. Mom then slowly put her hand on his head, a sign of pain appeared on his face, so he stood for a while and staggered out of the storeroom. I heard the sound a little later and realized that my mother was sitting quietly with her head on the dining table. I really wanted to go and ask my mother, mother, what happened to you? But did not dare. At night I asked Duli aunt, Duli aunt? Mommy key. Done? Duli aunt was surprised and said, what will happen? Nothing happened? So why is my mother talking so little nowadays? Your mother didn't talk much for a long time - said Duli Khala and blew up the whole thing. That night I did a very brave thing, at night when everyone had gone to their own house, I went to my sister's house and appeared. Apu was surprised to see me, frowned and said, Tapu? Yes, sister. What happened? What happened to Apu-Ammu? Apu looked at me in surprise, said, who? Mom.

What will happen? I know how my mother is using it differently. Apu still did not understand me, shook her head and said, how are you behaving differently? I said, I don't know. Apu looked at me a little surprised. Not knowing what to do, I returned to my storeroom. Within a week, everyone realized that my suspicion was true. Ammu's office car came, Ammu was going out to go to the office, suddenly she came to the dining table and broke her knee. The head hit the corner of the table and cut off quite a bit. Although my mother sat up and tried to stand up saying that nothing had happened to me, nothing had happened to me but others did not listen to her. He was forcibly taken to the hospital. An X-ray of his head showed a large tumor inside his head because he had a headache. After that everything seemed to happen quickly. The tumor is not a benign tumor at all. It has to be operated on, no doctor has claimed that the mother will get better after the operation. My mother is in the hospital, every afternoon I hear my mother's news from my brother and sister. The doctor's strict instructions not to do the things that upset my mother, so there is no question of me going to the hospital. So I can't go to the hospital, when my sister or brother comes home, I take my mother's news from them. Very quickly my mother's condition started to get very bad, no one told me that but I know my mother will have a terrible operation on her head. Not just if the operation. Then a miracle must happen. Only then is it possible to save my mother. I don't have to sit in the storeroom because my mother is not at home. I occasionally walk inside the house. Many days later I went to my mother's house. Arranged her powder, lipstick perfume on the dressing table. My mother has two hairs in the comb. Ammu's sari blouse inside the wardrobe. There is a folded blanket on the bed, only my mother is not there. Pictures of father and mother on the wall, taken after the wedding, both of them are very young, both of them are smiling in such a way that it seems that the sound of laughter can be heard if you notice a little. I turned on the television in the living room one day, I don't know how long I haven't watched television, how many new channels have come out in television nowadays. Some are very funny and some are so bizarre that I don't care what people see. My habit of watching television without watching television is gone, so after watching it for a while, I start to feel annoyed. I turned off the television and got up. Lots of books on the shelf in the outdoor room. I look at the books upside down but there is a kind of instability in my mind so I don't want to read anything anymore.

Ammu's head was operated on two weeks later. There was some discussion about whether he would be taken abroad or not but in the end Mama Khalara talked to her sister and brother and decided to operate here. I have been standing on the verandah of the hospital since the morning of the day of the operation. When she was taken to the operating theater, her sister and brother went to her and held her hand. I stood behind a door in the distance so as not to see me. Suddenly, something can happen. It took six hours for the operation to end, who knows how those who perform the operation stand without six hours of continuous rest. Operation. My mother was taken out of the theater and kept in a room. I also went to see my sister and brother because my mother did not know. Bandages in the middle of the head, plastic tubes coming out of the nose and mouth. Eyes closed and mouth slightly open, breathing is a kind of sound, like an uncomfortable sound, trembling inside the chest. Various wires have come out of different parts of the body, all kinds of equipment around, many kinds of light in them, many kinds of sounds. Seeing my mother, I felt like a stranger. We were not allowed to stay for long, but a nurse came and took us out. Everyone was skeptical about whether Ammu's knowledge would return, but to everyone's surprise, Ammu's knowledge came back. When my sister and brother came back to talk to my mother, I asked, how is my mother? Apu sighed and said, as before. Mom spoke? Yes. Said a little. What did mom say? Apu shook her hand and said as if to blow it away, this is it. I asked with a lot of hope, my mother said something about me? Apu looked at me in surprise and said, no. Mom didn't ask anything about you.

I moved a little unprepared. I sat there secretly hoping for a childish one. I thought my mother could not stand me for that terrible tumor on her head. That tumor has now been cut off, now maybe my mother will love me again like before! After listening to my sister's words, I realized that it was not true. I don't know exactly why my chest broke in another kind of trouble. Gradually, my mother's condition worsened. I used to come and sit outside every day knowing that I could not see. Brother and sister would go in and talk to my mother, and I would ask her how she was. They could not say anything clearly, Daisara used to say something. I used to wait and see when my mother would go to sleep. I would go and see her from a distance. I was just afraid of what would happen if she suddenly woke up and saw me. My whole body was anxious to touch him once. I just wish I could put my head on my mother's chest and talk to her! A simple thing. It's easy! Gradually everyone realized that my mother would not live. Mom stays in a place most of the time between waking up and sleeping. Nowadays, sometimes you can't even recognize your sister and brother. I can't ask directly, so I turn around and ask if my mother has said anything about me. But never said. He seems to have forgotten that I am. And after a few days, my mother will not know anyone else. What will happen then? Will I be completely lost from my mother's life? One day while I was standing on the verandah of the hospital, a lady in a white doctor's gown stood in front of me. He looked at me and said, where did I see you? I said hesitantly, I think here. I come here every day. Uh, not here. I haven't been here before. The doctor lady stared at me for a while. Suddenly his eyes and face became bright, he said, I remember! You are the champion of champions! Great mathematician! I did not understand what to say and looked at him. The lady shook her head and said, "I took my daughter to that competition." My daughter took your autograph. I do not know what to say, he said. Why are you here My mother had an operation on her head. What a number bed. Seventeen. The lady went inside without saying anything else. When I was sitting outside alone, I saw that the lady doctor had come out again. Seeing me, he came to me again and stood up and said, do you want to talk to your mother? I quickly shook my head and said, no-no. The doctor was surprised and said, why not? I did not understand what to say and stood in silence. The doctor said, "Come in." He paused and said softly, "Your mother must want to see her children at this time." I said softly, it is forbidden to go in front of my mother. My mother gets angry whenever she sees me. The doctor lady looked at me in surprise for a while and took a deep breath and said, "Your mother doesn't have the ability to get angry anymore baby!" The lady took my hand and said, Come with me. Lots of fences inside as well. Ammu's bed is in one corner, the doctor lady took me to Ammu's bed. Ammu was lying down with her eyes closed. She heard the sound of footsteps and opened her eyes. The doctor said to the lady mother, your son has come to see you. Then he put his hand on my back and said, you talk to your mother. I came to see my patient a little.

My mother looked at me without saying anything. I looked at my mother. Every time I looked into my mother's eyes after my father died, my mother's eyes lit up. This was not the first time that my mother's eyes flickered. Mom stared at me with fixed eyes. Very slowly my mother's eyes filled with tears. Ammu's lips suddenly moved, trying to say something. I approached my mother and heard her call me, Tapu. I said, what mom? Mom whispered, "Stand in front of me." See you I stood in front of my mother. My mother looked at me for a long time and then whispered, "I have tortured you a lot." Isn't it? I shook my head and said, no mom didn't. Mom said, done. I know. I don't know how my mother got tired. I thought I saved a little energy by breathing a few times, then said, I don't know what happened to me after your father died. I couldn't stand you, Tapu. I moved a little closer to my mother. I said in fear, I hold your hand a little mother? Hold on? Hold on. I gently grabbed my mother's hand, aha! What a dry and cold hand. Holding my hand, I burst into tears.