The invisible Man

I have always wondered what was wrong with me. Right from my childhood people seem to hardly ever notice me, I could be standing in front of someone and they'll behave as if I wasn't even there.

I remember one particular incident, when I went to my home town and me, my dad and my younger brother went to visit my aunt. She cheerfully greeted my father and younger brother but didn't say a word to me. Even though the four of us were the only ones there she did not acknowledge my presence until we left. She visited us the next day and it was the same story . Even when we all drove to Grandma's place in my dad's car she did not acknowledge me until after we spent some time there and suddenly it felt like something clicked in her and she came rushing out of the kitchen and hugging me, apologizing for not noticing me earlier. Everyone else was surprised, but not me, I had already gotten used to it.

I attended rehearsals for days and the lecturer doesn't notice me (even though the both of us are acquainted ). He suddenly does after two weeks and asks me where I've been - although he looks to right past me in class and shakes people sitting right next to me.

Sometimes I wonder if they really don't notice or just pretend to. The only time people seem to notice me is when they want to make jest of me or when I struggle for their attention. On several occasions some people I am talking with just plain ignore me immediately another person comes along. My voice is hardly regarded in any group discussion, with exception To my family.

I don't really blame them, I am a natural freak of nature and my financial status doesn't even allow me look better. I was born extremely dark, red eyed and black smoker's lips - although I have never touched the stuff- , thin and hungry looking, almost nerdy, introverted and from a poor background.

I have done several experiments and it seems like there don't really notice me. I have done my best to fit in but it never works. The few friends I have don't last and don't stick around. It's like they don't want to be seen with me . I have been call all kinds of derogatory names and made fun of several times, I don't know if I can take it anymore. I'm at a cliff edge and falling over, only hanging by a thin thread.

I am invisible to kind people and visible to the bullies. Maybe this article may end up being invisible to people who may have really cared. I sincerely hope not.