How to Love Yourself?

Is there someone who doesn't know how to love? or is there someone who doesn't even know that the word "love" really exists? What does it really mean? How is it related to self-love?

Today's just another typical day of my life. I wasn't able to sleep early yesterday night so I woke up at around 7 in the morning already. I just washed my face and drunk a glass of water. After a few moments, our teacher in Science, Technology, and Society sent us the link of our online class.

After some discussions, she started calling out names and I don't know if I was lucky enough to have my name called first. Nevertheless, I answered the question being asked to me.

"What is a good life to you?

I just took a deep breath before I turned on my mic. I simply answered it's about having contentment in our life regardless of the things we have. I actually want to add some more but I was cut there already.

Anyway, as we go on with our lesson today, I came to realize the importance of self-love as one way of having a good life. I assessed myself if I am actually doing it and it made me understand that I have been too bad to myself lately that I almost forget to take care of it really well.

I was too busy with other things and this made me suddenly feel insecure. I don't know but I just feel the urge to give myself the things I deserve. I'm done seeking the attention that no one else cares to notice. Maybe, they're just busy also with their own life. Maybe, it's the ugly side of acting like I'm independent. But anyway, even the firmest person I have ever known has his own soft side. And that's what gives me a feeling of solace.

However, I always think that I could be happier if I am prioritizing myself before other things and people. For the past years, I have always strived to give the best that I can to make my family proud and happy, so with people close to me. I still do it up until today but everything undergoes change. This thing is what kept my mind preoccupied with a lot of things lately to the point that I already feel anxious about everything in my life.

I always pray and I am the kind of person who has a burning passion for the things I love. My fighting spirit is raging but yeah, there are times when I feel like something is lacking and that is self-love.

All this time I thought that what I am doing is self-love, but no, it was not. Though I am giving myself some treats and time to relax despite the exhausting duties I have, I realize that it should be more than that. I should not sacrifice my well-being just to please others. But I should understand that I have my own flaws and I need to cultivate inner piece and happiness to have a life that is more interesting and enjoyable than what I am used to doing.

I don't need to pamper myself all the time. I just need to spend more time for myself to realize my worth and get rid of the things that take out the positive energies I have. I will stop pitying myself for some petty things. And lastly, I hope I would be happier soon.