Why can't it be the two of us?

"So many handsome faces in this world but yours is my favorite".

Now, I can fully understand the feeling of being in love. Waking up from the bed with you in my side. Before, I just only wish to God to give me someone who can feel me so alive and motivated but now, it seems that He give me nothing but the best. I thought that I can't get a chance to experience this kind of feeling but now,I'm so happy and in love. I think that I made the right decision when I let you enter to my life. You give me the life and love that I couldn't expect. With you in my arms, I'm sure that our love would last.

I know that I promise to myself that I will not let someone to enter in my life especially in my heart again since my ex-boyfriend cheated on me. I can't deny that ex of mine give me the nightmare that I can't imagine. He makes my beautiful life into a sorrow and darkest place where I can't also find myself. After that break up, I become depressed to the point that I want to end my own life. I attempt to commit suicide but it seems that there is someone who stopping me. I literally become crazy, I don't know what I am doing. I'm totally lost for that moment. I thought that I can't save from that nightmare but He is really good. He send me an angel who could save my life. And it was you. When I'm at my deepest and darkest phase, you came into my life. Your smile is the first thing that I noticed. You even said to me that if I continue to kill myself, you will also kill yourself. And I don't want someone died because of me so I let go the knife that I holding that time. I don't know but in just one snap, I able to smile again and forget the painful past I endure for a long time.

I tried to be well because of you. I already told you my entire life even about my ex-boyfriend but you never judge me instead you just hug me tight and said that you will never let go of me. Months had passed and I make our relationship officially. I think that it's the perfect time to move on from the past and make some happy moments with you. I even introduce you to my family and friends, but it seems that they don't want you for me. They even said that I'm just a crazy woman. But whatever they said, I'm ready to take a risk for you. You are the only risk that I'm willing to take. Before you save me, so now it's my turn to protect you from anyone who oppose our love story. Even they don't want to, we make sure that we close our ears for their opinions because you and me is really matters. And I never get disappointed on my decision because you made every day a special day. You're a man of surprises. I never thought that I would woke up every day witnessing your smile. I never thought that there's you who will hug me when I'm drowning in my sadness. It was you who only believes and stays with me when everyone leave me. I appreciate it a lot, thank you love.

One time while I'm arrive at our house, my Mom talked to me and asked where I go then I said that I'm with you. I'm glad to point you to her hoping that she will accept us but unfortunately, she just laughing and the same time worrying about me. She even asked where you are then I just noticed that you left. But my Mom is not convinced so she asked me again but I just smile on her.

"Please whoever that man you are referring, please let go of him and go back to your senses", my mom said. I suddenly cried because all this time , they didn't believe on me. All this time they were thinking that I'm a crazy woman. I know that I'm became depressed before but why they don't want me to be happy again. Now that I find the right man, it seems that they really don't want that idea. Because of that, I run to my room and immediately close the door. I cried a lot to the point that I didn't notice that you already hug and comfort me. But I can't stop from crying. I can also see on your eyes that you are also worried and teary eyed, so I tap your shoulder while saying " I might cried tonight but don't worry, I will never let go of you. I will never leave you". You just smile at me. I know that by saying those words, I make you feel slightly happy. But this tears don't want to stop so I just let it go. I just let it fall until the last tears in my eyes. After that, I couldn't remember what happened next.

I was surprised when I woke up in a completely different surrounding. I look around and the only thing that I see is white and the dextrose in me. Where I am? I shouted and surprising my parents go near in me and hugging me tight. I'm still clueless what's happening but I'm searching for him. My mom notice and asked me who am looking for. I just said nevermind because for sure they will not believe on me. Confirmed that I am in hospital when a doctor came to check me. He asked me if how I am and I just said I'm okay then asked him what happened to me. He explained and I can't believe on what he said. No way, it can't be.

According to my doctor that until now, I'm suffering from depression. He asked me if I still take the medicine that he provided last last month and I said that I didn't intake all of that because I'm completely fine. But my doctor said that because I didn't intake my medicine, it leads me to hallucination to the point that I create imaginary person on my person. Because of too much hallucinations and depression, I'm longing for some and it is the cause why my mind created a man who didn't exist on reality. So all this time , the man who is in besides me is product of my hallucinations. The man who comforted and make me feel love didn't exist on this world. Now, I can understand why my family and friends didn't accept our relationship because since the beginning, they can't see him. He's only in my imagination. It's so hard to accept but I think it's the right time to fix myself. I need to feel well but it's so hard because it means that in order to fix myself, I need to let go of you. I close my eyes while whispering my goodbye to you. I know that you also love me to get well so good bye for now, my love. I hope that in the next life, me and you will meet again. And by that time, and love story will be accepted in reality. So for now, let just separate our ways. I'm removing you from my mind but you still kept in my heart. Till the next catch up, my imaginary man.

All images was came from Unsplash.com

Author's Message:

I got inspired to make a story again so I just let my imagination work for my today's blog. I hope that even it's not a happy ending you've looking for, I'm still hoping that like this one hehe. Anyways, how are you? How's your Mondays so far? I didn't get a chance to published last night because of academic requirements. I guess that I can only published and visit here when I have time because thesis takes a lot of my time. But I also happy because our prof said that we only have one month before our vacation hihi. Yaay finally, I can wake up again without stressful schedule hahaha. Hope that you have also your vacation hehe. Let's enjoy the rest of the night then.