I want "that" before and after my Name

Do you wanna be a teacher or maybe a soldier? Can you fight for your dream despite on the overflowing obstacles you need to face? Are you doing something or maybe you just gave up on it? Should we only depend on fate, on luck or maybe you just go with the flow? There is so many questions about achieving our dream right and yet somehow we don't know the answer on it.

I know that each of us has a dream profession since then. There are some people who are lucky enough because they achieve that dream while there is also some who are unfortunate because they cannot achieve that dreams. So many reasons why they can't. Somehow it's because of financial matter , family problems and sometimes they think that fate doesn't favor to them. How can I say this? It simply because I also experience that. It really hurts that even you tried to hard to reach your dream, it seems like something is stopping it.

When I was in Senior High School, I already decided that I will pursue Accountancy in college because I do love accounting. (Dati lang Yun😅)And after that pre-course law ,I'm planned to enrolled myself to a law school because I want to be a "CPA Lawyer". Ang taas ng pangarap ko Diba? 😅( Isn't my dream is too high? Since then I study hard to fulfill that dream profession of mine. I prepare myself and even reviewed for the college entrance exam. I took an entrance in 4 Universities (3 in Manila and 1 University in our province) and I even get an offer from a University in California. I'm not smart, I just got lucky lol 😂. I'm so blessed that I passed all of that. I thought I would be happy because I able to achieve my dream but the opposite of it was happened.

When I receive those emails with "Congratulations , you passed the examination" and feel like I'm on a cloud nine. I can't believe that I passed that kind of examinations especially the dream university of all.

That time, I already chosen the university that I want to attend. I'm ready to enrolled myself to that university but unfortunately something bad happened. I got sick that time and I need to be admitted in hospital for almost a month. If you are wondering what kind of illness is it, it's Iron deficiency Anemia. That time, I cried and begged to my Mom " Sige na Ma, payagan mo na ako mag-enrolled muna. Pangarap ko to Ma. Pangarap ko to". ( Please, Mom, let me enrolled myself first. This is my dream. This is my dream". After that , I don't remember anything. My mom said that I collapsed suddenly and I was quickly taken to the hospital. I was lying on that bed depressed and unmotivated. I didn't know that my mom asked the University if I can still enrolled to that course but unfortunately there is no slot anymore. She even said that whatever business course and then I'll just shifting my course after a year. But there is also no slot. Slot was slowly killing me inside😅

She also did that to other university but the situation is the same. Honestly when I found out that , I realized that I'm so blessed to have a mother like that. I can feel that she is also broke that time because of me but she choose to be strong. I also blame myself for not taking good care to myself. I blame myself for being too harsh to my body. I blame myself because I can't attend to that dream university. I even asked God " Bakit ako pa? Naging mabuti naman ako Diba? Bakit feeling ko ayaw mong magtagumpay ako? Bakit gantong kasakit naman". (Why me? I've been good , haven't I? Why I feel that you don't want me to achieve my success? It's so painful".)

I also need to move forward. I also still have 2 Universities to decide with. My parents push me to attend that University in California but I refuse because even the offer is good and they also provide me allowance , I also know that the cost of living there is too pricey. I think that allowance will not be enough to survive and also I need to adopt so new environment alone. I don't want to be a loner there haha. I don't want to be selfish to my parents because I know that it might be a problem to them and also I had younger brother who still studying. So, I choose the last University but I also didn't get my dream course. Why is there only a limited slot per course huh. I take up BSBA Major in Financial Management and I admit that at first I'm so unhappy because it's not really my dream. I remembered before when our professors asked us why we choose FM, I really don't know what to say. But as time passes by, I learn to love that course. I also encourage myself that I should double my effort and maybe it's not the right time to achieve that dream profession. I also realize that " Even you changed your path, it doesn't mean that you are not able to achieve your goals. Sometimes it is the best preparation that God gives you in order to achieve that dream". At the end of the day , God is always be our driver and we are only his passengers.

Now I'm currently 3rd year and still striving. If you asked me if I already surrendered my dream profession, " No, I'm not and I will never surrender it". In fact, I came up to a much better plan. So, I decided to continue my current course and after that I will continue this to become a Certified Financial Analyst ( CFA). I will study again to pursue my original plan and to take up Accountancy. I heard that it only takes 2-3 years because I already have a bachelor degree in connection with it. And of course, I also pursue my dream to become a lawyer. I can sense that some of you will asked me this questions.

If I'm not tired of studying?

- Of course, I got tired but it also becomes my strength to push harder. I believe there is no successful person who doesn't feel tired. Behind those successful person is a tiring face and struggles but they achieve it, so I will. Maybe I was born to study and study haha.

If I become successful on doing it?

- I don't know the answer yet but I try hard to achieve it. I have faith on myself and also to God that he makes a way for me. Maybe , the brightest future will awaits me. I just need to become dedicated.

If I don't have a plan to get a boyfriend because of that dream?

Actually my Mom also asked this to me. She said that I should married a man before I turn 30. But I'm only 20 years old , so there's still a lot of time. Also , I believe that the right man will come on the right time. I don't want to pressure myself about that.

After a couple of years, I want to have that on my name. If that will happen, I'm pretty sure that I will become the happiest person alive. Now, I just need to face the struggles and overcome it. In the near future In the Gods grace, I will acknowledge like that. ☺️

Closing Thought

Success is not a race instead it is a test on how far can you fight for it. Maybe, I will take a longer road than expected but I used this journey to mold myself not only to become a professional but also to achieve the best version of my life. It's not the end for me or either for you, it's just a beginning. I also want to remind my fellow dreamers to just continue to strive even at the hardest point . We might be tired today but I'm pretty sure that tomorrow will become our victory. Let's get it on dreamers🤗