5 good steps to end emotional terrorism.

Step 1
First you have to honestly examine the quality of your external relationships. If the quality of the relationship is very low, then break up and leave. It’s only fair to take some time to fully make up your mind, but remember that leaving someone doesn’t have to take ages. However, your own security is always the first priority. If you are in danger then leave immediately. Later on, when you get back on your feet again, you can still take time to analyze the situation to see how you got involved in such a relationship.

If you notice that your relationship is bad, but there is no immediate threat to your life or well being, then step out of the grasp the emotional terrorist has on you by doing the following. First, understand that someone who has to hurt other people to feel good himself, is a vampire. He sucks your energy up to stay alive himself. These people are sick, both in their head and in their heart.

Probably they had a troublesome childhood and never learned how to love, but this is no excuse for their behavior and surely not a reason for you to stay with them. Don’t play therapist in your relationship! Any adult who commits himself to positive change can do it, but it is not your role to bring your partner to a healthy behavior. You will lose time, energy and self esteem. Your efforts will be in vain. Why would this energy vampire make an effort to better himself if he can easily feed off the energy of his victim? Ask yourself this question: “Do I want to be the victim of an energy vampire?”

Everybody who has lived through a vampire-victim relationship knows how difficult it is to withdraw from the grip of such a person. Their tactics are so subtle and covert that it is indeed difficult for the mentally sane person to understand the strategies of the emotional terrorist. Everything they do is set up to make you doubt.

Behold the infernal vampire-victim combination: the vampire pretends to “know everything” while the victim “doubts herself.” This combination is fatal, because whenever you see clearly and realize you’re targeted by emotional terrorism, the vampire will promptly start acting very friendly just to make you second-guess your conclusion. Whenever you see him like he really is and decide to leave, his strategy is to go back to some kind of honeymoon feeling to make you doubt your opinion. You will say to yourself, “How could I have thought so bad about him? See how friendly he is! Nobody else has ever said such kind words to me.” Beware! Don’t forget that the vampire will lull you to sleep before attacking! You become less awake, less alert, and when you have been fooled again into thinking he’s a friendly person, things go back to “normal” and he attacks again.

His attacks get worse and worse while your defense gets weaker and weaker. He wants to empty you completely, until there is nothing left of you. What he wants (unconsciously perhaps, but that doesn’t matter) is to depersonalize you, to cut your ego into little pieces, until you no longer exist as your own person; that’s when he has complete power over you.

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