Understanding, Opinions and Beliefs

I was in a public transport vehicle sometime ago when a group of people started talking about spirituality. At first, the conversation was going smoothly. Not long after that, it turned into a serious argument. Everyone forgot that the initial topic of discussion was faith. It turned into a war about the more superior church and doctrines. 

This brought to mind a pregnant woman who died because her husband refused to sign the papers necessary for blood transfusion. The man didn't believe in that but the woman did. She wasn't in a position to sign the papers herself so she died. In as much as what happened to her wasn't her fault, the decisions we make in life play a major part in where we end up, especially in situations we have no control over. That woman died the day she chose to marry someone whose beliefs didn't align with hers. 

Now, let's talk about people and difference in opinions, beliefs and understandings. 

Look at these two scenarios: 

You were born into a nuclear family of five. You had siblings. Growing up, you learned to share. You learned to respect people's privacy and decisions. You learned that the world does not revolve around you. You learned how to voice your concerns in a reasonable way. You learned to take responsibility for your actions. 

This other person was born into an extended family - say a man and four wives. He was the only child of his mother. As a child, the only thing he knew how to do was contest for his father's love. No one taught him to sometimes put people's feelings into consideration. No one taught him that it really shouldn't be about him and only him. No one taught him there shouldn't be any competition, except a healthy one. 

Fast forward to many years later, both of you are now adults. You leave home and somehow cross paths. One thing is certain; your opinions are going to vary, and that difference in opinion may cause misunderstanding. It's true we learn as we grow, but letting go of a habit is not an easy task. Take it from someone who's been there. Unlearning and relearning is not as easy as it sounds. 

Most times, these misunderstandings result because we all want to be heard at the same time. No one wants to listen and understand. No one wants to explain. It's either 'my way or the high way.' It doesn't matter if we are right or wrong, and we are wrong eighty percent of the time. The tiny twenty percent, we use it to cuss and rant. It doesn't matter if the other person understands the point we're trying to make. We enjoy the call out. 

There's a difference between being ignorant and being aware. The latter is when you know that something is wrong but still do it anyway. Ignorance on the other hand is the reverse. One thing I've observed is that correcting someone using harsh words doesn't really work out well, especially if it's the first time. The person may or may not get your point since both of you have different school of thoughts. At the end of the day, everyone goes home angrier. The problem remains exactly where it is. Nothing is achieved. 

Where do you belong? How high or low is your discerning spirit?