I have tears in my eyes.
Shinny liquid pulling at the corners
Of that beautiful part of me.
Stinging as it crawls
Like fat balls down my cheeks.
Hot when I wiped it in frustration.
I’m letting it fall.
I don’t care it moves past my jaw
And down my throat.
The irregular patterns no longer bother me.
Appearances has disappeared.
My heart is full.
I begin to talk but can’t finish.
The words come out jumbled,
Broken like an old piece of furniture.
My voice crack as I try to speak.
Maybe from keeping quiet for so long,
Or from exhaustion threatening to overwhelm.
I’ve always loved the silence,
Even when I try and fail to meditate.
I love it still.
Just me and nothingness.
There’s a lump in my throat.
Not from love or new found feelings,
Rather, from old pain ignored.
Past hurt shoved into the dark.
Swallowed like a hot liquid,
Forgotten like an unfinished liquor.
They’re all back to the surface
I’m neither ignoring nor encouraging.
It’s floating around and I don’t mind.
It bites my stomach day and night.
I’m too tired to fight back.
Maybe this tears would wipe it all away
And I get to start anew.
Maybe it would keep it all within reach,
Where I won’t be able to escape
I’ve resigned everything to fate.
I live by the day,
Waking in the morning,
Going to bed at night.
The dreams steals in and out of my sleep,
But they don’t scare me anymore.
I will myself to forget at dawn.
©chinyerevivian
I've been emotionally drained today. I wrote this piece listening to this tune. I didn’t listen till the end. Don’t want to go too deep. Maybe I was scared of what I would find. It made me think things I would rather not on a good day. Tell me what you think.