Of all the parties available for you to attend, there's one that you should stay away from - the pity party.

According to urbandictionary.com, a pity party is a way of experiencing grief, in which you spend your time feeling sorry for yourself and whining endlessly about how crappy your life is.

When a person is in a pity party mood, he either does it alone or with friends, who will do their best to comfort you as you ask yourself what have you done to deserve such mess. It's filled with tears, whining, and never-ending what-ifs and should-haves. 

Recently I was asked to share something about my week. Wanting to be transparent, I expressed how emotionally drained I felt last week. The reason is self-pity. 

It was triggered by first seeing posts from social media, then by receiving unjust treatment from people. I experienced frustration after frustration, coupled with numerous paperwork. I felt tired. And I began wondering, why do some people my age have it differently? Why are they "living the life" while I am here, sulking about my lot. I felt awful. 

And I know it's not healthy. 

Here's why.

Self-pity attracts more negative emotions.

Self-pity is one of the initial feelings that opens the door to more negative emotions. Self-pity makes you envious of people until you resent them, and worse, you may want bad things to happen to them to soothe your feelings. People who have made terrible decisions against themselves or others have at least a tinge of self-pity in them, fueled by fits of rage, jealousy, or the desire for revenge. Arrest this feeling before it causes you to do something you'll regret. 

Self-pity blurs your vision.

Some people can't see the whole forest because they only see a single tree. This tree may seem to them a nuisance, and they whine about it. Little did they know that the forest in its entirety is something that may blow their minds away. The same thing goes with self-pity. It blurs your vision, making you think that it is everything in the world. It keeps you focused on what's ugly without revealing that it is just a speck compared to what's beneath. There's more to life than just our negative emotions. 

Self-pity makes you unappreciative and demanding.

One proof that self-pity blurs your vision is that you tend to be too negative in life. You no longer find joy in simple things. Everything has to make sense now. You find it hard to celebrate victories when it is not yours. You slowly become bitter. In addition, you become more demanding. You feel like the world owes you a lot. You rant about many things, even for areas you have little to no control over. As a result, people may find you hard to approach, and soon they will stay away from you because of your attitude. No one wants to be friends with demanding, life-sucking people. 

Self-pity makes you unproductive. 

When a person loses his passion, his work output is drastically affected. Employees who are unappreciated and longing for commendation from their superiors tend to leave the company earlier than those who feel loved and rewarded. They say that what keeps a person connected is not primarily the rewards, though it helps, but the kind of environment. When a person constantly questions his worth, purpose, and calling, it is difficult to be productive. 

Self-pity affects your health.

One cannot discount the effects of constant self-doubt on one's health. Negative thoughts, if not addressed, would develop into depression and anxiety. It can wear out a person's physical and mental well-being. That's why a person needs to have an outlet and support group. But when a pity party is all he has, only time can tell when will it translate to poor health. 

Don't resort to self-pity. It is quicksand to self-inflicted failure. Take care of your emotional health. Seek help when necessary. Surround yourself with helpful people. Don't fall into the pitfalls of self-pity.