Seeing the Good in Goodbyes

Last Saturday, me and my girlfriend went to the toy section of the department store to buy gifts for her nephew who just celebrated his birthday. It's been a while since I was surrounded by Hotwheels and Matchboxes, robots and action figures, plushies, and toy guns. It was fun! We ended up buying toy cars. 

When we gave the lad his gift, he became more friendly and sweet towards us. He seldom left our side. There were even instances when he would lie on my girlfriend's tummy while watching his favorite YouTube videos. He wanted to listen to the sound of her stomach, he said. I kinda felt a bit jealous lol. 

But little did I know that the following day, her nephew will be moving out to Cavite, not a few kilometers from their home. It was a bittersweet moment for my girlfriend, and the toys served as parting gifts. Though her nephew has just turned 3 years old, it seemed like he knows what's going to happen come tomorrow, so he cherished all the moments they were together.

Early this morning, before I come to the office, my girlfriend told me how she misses her nephew so much. I feel sad for her. First, she had to let go of her dog due to an infection. Now, she has to part with her nephew who serves as their bundle of joy at home. But things happen.

As for me, I also hate goodbyes. My Enneagram Test tells me that I am a Type 6, meaning I am a loyalist. Loyalists are responsible, trustworthy, and value loyalty to family, friends, groups, and causes. Type 6 personalities range broadly from reserved and timid to outspoken and confrontative. 

Inasmuch as I would like to keep everyone within reach, reality would not allow me. Some have to go either by natural means, by necessity, or by choice. No matter how painful it feels, some goodbyes are imminent and necessary. It's just the way it is.

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I feel for the parents who have to let go of their children who are going to get married. I believe it's hard to accept that after all the years of sharing home and memories, they have to part ways because their children have grown up and will have to build their own families.

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I feel for best buddies who have to separate ways because one of them has to study or work abroad, or anywhere else, and it is almost impossible to meet regularly as they usually do. They have to make adjustments. Physical hugs and face-to-face conversations have to be done virtually. I feel the separation anxiety getting the best out of them.

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I feel for the children who have to say goodbye to their parents because the latter have decided parted ways. Divorce and annulment suck, but it's becoming a common reality. Somehow, everyone in the family has to move on. But it is easier said than done. It's like losing a tooth, you know that something used to be there, and now it's gone. 

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I feel for an employee who has to move out because of better career options, or the lack of it. It is not easy to say goodbye to friends with whom you have become familiar. It's not easy to unlearn job routines and practices you've grown to be familiar with and love over time. And now he has to start all over again.

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I feel for the displaced, for the uprooted, for those who have to endure the pain and sadness brought about by goodbyes. I feel for their confusion, their worries, their silent cries, and the tears they hide behind their masked smiles. 

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But what's more painful than losing a loved one succumbing to sickness or any form of death. It's an unimaginable loss, something we don't want to experience as much as we want. It is the time when we ask, "where's the good in goodbyes?"

But like all wounds, we have to give it time to heal. 

The only caveat is, healing doesn't always work like magic, as if you have never felt the sting of separation, or not remembering anything at all. Healing often means that we see hope and joy beyond the loss we experienced. Healing means seeing the good in goodbyes. 

Hi, I am Marts! Aside from read.cash, I also run my blog - martsvalenzuela.com. I plan on growing my readership while learning to improve my craft and journey towards my passion to write and publish books that add value to people.

Carpe Diem!