Fathers' Day is just around the corner. In a few days, the world will momentarily focus on the patriarchy - but not that much because we all know that, unlike Mothers' Day, Fathers' Day is less commercialized and less talked about. 

Perhaps the reason is that we are witnessing a growing number of absentee and irresponsible fathers. We all know families whose headship of the family was transferred either to the mother who struggles to keep the family intact or to the oldest child who has no choice but to bear the weight of responsibilities he/she did not sign up for. 

It is easy to be a father but to function as a father is a different story. It requires not just being around, not just providing for the needs of the family. It takes more than that. It is not easy, and this is perhaps the reason why boys would like to remain boys instead of growing up as a man - because a father's responsibilities are too tedious, too costly, and they won't go away easily. 

So I believe that who we need to celebrate this coming Fathers' Day are those who embraced the challenge, stayed through thick and thin, and wears their responsibilities like crowning jewels. They are worthy to be celebrated.

The fathers' special role

I recognize that it's not always about fathers. There are lots of factors contributing to every family dynamic we have. Not all family stories are the same. What works for one may not work for another. What I can write about is based on what I witnessed from people around me and what I have personally experienced. 

When I attended a seminar spearheaded by UNODC, our city's chief of police shared how most of the problems involving juvenile delinquents can be traced to a lack of role models, particularly fathers. A father's love and discipline are so influential that it leaves a void that leads a child to a life of crime. This is not always the case and should not be generalized, but still, it poses a threatening fact. 

What can we do

While it seems a daunting task, I believe we can begin raising responsible fathers beginning with the younger generation we have now. Let us raise the bar of being a man in a society that believes more in the macho image than in being responsible. 

We can inspire our youth to aspire to be great men. Let them dream dreams! Let them hope for the better. Challenge them to the ideal, and inspire them to reach for it. Men are created as pursuers. Innately, men thrive on challenges. Tap this as a strength, and let them hope for a future generation with stronger families because they will stand strongly on their responsibilities. 

We can give them age-appropriate responsibilities early on. This will develop their physical, emotional, and social muscles as they grow. Every time they tackle something, their confidence will grow and they will be more willing to accept new and heavier responsibilities. Don't let them shy away from daunting tasks. Encourage them and celebrate with them along the way. 

We can educate them. Teach them what benefits it will bring when they "man up" for their mothers, sisters, and for others around them. Teach them that what makes a man, a "real man" is not his physique, the depths of his voice, his earning capacity, or the number of girls swooning over him, but him being dependable and can be counted on in times of need. 

The world is in need of fathers. And we are glad to have them around! Perhaps you are blessed to have one in your own family or circle. Salute to them! But it would be great if we can multiply them. I believe raising up a generation of 'men with spine' is a community project. We can do this!