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A Messed-up Dynamic

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Written by   148
3 days ago

I have listened to countless stories of youth (and adults, even) who struggle to understand their family dynamics. I can relate to some of their narratives. If only I can help them, but I can only do so much. 

I tried to profile some of the stories I heard about, and while writing this, I felt pain. This is not just a by-product of my words and thoughts. This is reality. 

Exhibit A

Someone who doesn't stay long in any company he works for. A year would be too long a tenure for him. At times, I learned that he switched jobs 2-3 times in less than a year. His work ethic is now considered a joke by those who know him. The good thing is the point of entry in most BPOs is easier compared with other jobs, so he feels a little bit confident job-hopping.

I wonder what's wrong. He has tried working somewhere near him, as well as somewhere where he can experience a daily commute if that's what he's after. He's been into local and international accounts. He's hopped in almost every CBDs and worked for several BPOs but he hasn't found his 'niche' yet. He hasn't found what he's looking for, yet. 

Exhibit B

People who don't seem to have any plans for their future. They are contented with what they are doing in the corner of their rooms as long as they eat three times a day. Freeloaders. They don't care about the bills they help accumulate. They don't care about the people paying for the bills. They just do whatever they want to do, enjoying their version of freedom in their own bubble.

They consume. They suck out resources until they're depleted. They love to play the victim card when you call them out. They never run out of excuses when you try to help them move forward from the place they're stuck. They're immovable. It seems the world has stopped for them and people around them have no choice but to feed, clothe and support him. He's a victim of whatever situational crisis has hit him, and he hasn't moved on yet. The time will come when he will soon look for a job and be of help, but that time has not come yet. Just wait. 

Exhibit C

A person who thinks life is easy because he has a safety net aka family. He can do whatever he likes to do, even if it means being a burden to his parents and the family's breadwinner. He is the youngest, and his mistakes are just because of his impulsive youthfulness. It's part of growth, he says. 

But little did he care about the consequences of his impulsive behavior. Children are born out of wedlock, with no assurance of being provided for their basic needs. Not too long and they will soon step into the big school. But until now the person who is supposed to meet their needs and guide them to maturity hasn't seemed to make it past childishness. Until now he considers himself the youngest, the family's favorite, the source of joy. 

Exhibit D

He is tired, angry, and afraid, and his hope is becoming dull. Daily he is experiencing apathy toward the people around him. They don't seem to understand where he's coming from. A simple "how are you?" would be enough to make him feel better but even those words seem elusive. People don't seem to care. And he's wondering if that's all his purpose is. To provide for the capricious needs of people around him with no sense of gratitude and concern.

He wants to pursue a life he has always dreamt about, but he can't afford to do so. He is duty-bound by responsibilities he hasn't even signed up for. He has given up a lot already, and his health and hope are now deteriorating. But he can't stop now. 

We all know someone who falls in any of these categories. What a messed-up dynamic, right? These and many other kinds of messed-up situations are not just figments of my imagination. It's happening left and right. And I hope we can do something about it. 

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Written by   148
3 days ago
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