@Marinov 6 July 2021 more from that month

I was mad because I'm sad

**Family gatherings/reunions supposed to be a happy memory.** You can be with your cousins that you haven't seen for a long time and play with them or hang out with them. Cousins are the best! You can also be with your uncles and aunts who babysat you before. Most of their lines would be this: "Wow! You've grown so fast. Please don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend yet. Finish your studies first." *Errr. Filipino way* Admit or not, many of us are joyous when we heard our that aunts/uncles, relatives somewhere from abroad, cousins, or any member of the family will come to have a vacation for some time. This means a celebration to keep up with the time being away. As what I observed from my family, the more siblings you have, the merrier it will be. For instance, my great grandmother have 13 children. These 13 children are my grandma and grandpa supposed to be (if I'm not mistaken lol) but I call them aunts and uncles. These thirteen individuals have their families of course, so they will bear children as well. The size of the family multiplies. As a result, this will become a huge family and this is what happened to ours. During family gatherings, it seems like fiesta. Many relatives are around and I think that is one of the nicest things when you have many siblings.

There was this gathering that I was so upset before. I remember it was fiesta in our place but I forgot the exact date. I guess I was ten years old that time. Before the relatives came, I was so excited because I missed my cousins and I really want to play with them. It's been a year since we last saw each other. I was also looking forward to see my aunties/uncles since I knew back then that they will bring something to us, kids. I also missed sleeping together with my cousins and sleep at late night because we keep on talking and then there's our great grandma who would hush us and if we didn't listen, she would hit us with a broom stick. 😅 Ughhh, how I missed those days. Because of that, I helped my mom prepare the ingredients that she will cook. I also helped her make the salad and the other desserts. So by tomorrow, all will be ready. The day has come and it's fiesta already. Hooray! Those who are just near from our house arrived first. My favorite cousin has arrived and we started to play with her phone since I don't have a phone yet that time. Her name is Grace. She also have Facebook account which I don't know how to use and how does it functions. She taught me how to interact with the people there. I enjoyed being with her because I got to know what city girls do. She's knows it because they lived in a city. She also shared her secret to me about her boyfriend and I was so shock that she got one since we are too young to be in a relationship but she said that's normal in their place and auntie is also okay with it. Other cousins were there too and we enjoyed playing cards together with my sisters. I don't know what's the English term for this card game but in Bisaya, we call it, "Unggoy-unggoy". Unggoy means Monkey in English so I guess that would be "Monkey-Monkey" in English? I don't know. Haha! But that game for sure is really fun. Meanwhile Our relatives from Bohol also came to celebrate. They seldom visit so everyone is excited to see them and talk to them. From that family, I have 3 cousins who came: 2 boys who are older than me and 1 girl who is a year older than me. They are Kuya Jeric, Kuya Marty and ate Che2. After that, all of my cousins went to ate Che2 and play with her. And I was left where we played cards. So I played alone. While the the oldies are busy preparing the food, my cousins are busy playing too and showing ate Che2 around the place. And I was like, why they're so after her when we are just so happy before she came? How could they not involve me in the circle? Because of that, I was mad at them. I didn't talk to them even to my sisters. They forgot me. The fiesta went on and everybody was enjoying except me. They ate together while I ate at a corner far away from them. Again, no one asked why I'm away. I think that's also because of my grumpy face though I'm not angry so my family are used to it, me being away during family gatherings. After eating, they had a singing contest. Some of my cousins joined and ate Che2 joined too. I admit, she had a nice voice and she was also very pretty with a fair skin and a curly hair. She looks so divine. The prize for the singing contest is one hundred pesos and that's a lot that time. They started until it was ate Che2's turn to sing. She sang beautifully and she won the family contest. Just wow! I just gave a smirk.

My uncle called me to sing too. And I was like what? They already know that I don't like to sing so why even asked? I am completely annoyed so I just shook my head. And then there's the comparing again. My uncle said, "Lupigan laman ka sa ate Che2 nimo." (Daig ka na naman ni ate Che2 mo) I really hate being compared with. Why is everyone showing me that she's better than me? I'm not even trying to get even. I just want my cousins' attention back. After that, everybody went back to my great grandma's house to rest. I was also planning to sleep there with my cousins but I chose not to because I'm mad at them. I was mad because I'm sad. Lol. When I think of that now, I can't imagine myself being angry for nothing. Well I was just 10 years old then. I didn't realized that I was jealous. Jealous because ate Che2 is beautiful and sweet child. I also realized that it's also my fault because I was the only one who didn't join the fun with them. I build my own walls for nothing. If only I know back then how to blend with them, how to communicate with them, then I wouldn't be left behind. And this is what I realized now. These are some of the pictures during that reunion. I forgot where are those pictures with cousins.

*In life, we need not to wait for others to adjust for us. We need not to be jealous of what others have. We do have our own uniqueness and that's what make us standout.* *In order to live, we must learn to live together.* No hate. Stop comparing. Be compassionate. Appreciate everything. Be grateful. P.S. Ate Che2 and me are very close now. Thank you so much for reading lovelies! I hope you find this article worthy of your time. 😁 Thank you also to my new sponsors, @TengoLoTodo and @zellypearl I am really grateful sir and ma'am. Thanks for always appreciating my work. And to the rest of my sponsors, I am so thankful.

Ciao! ❤️