The truth is not many people are mentally trained to recognize toxic love from real love.
Even though we believe we know so much about love, we often fail to realize that it is never selfish. It shouldn’t make us feel miserable, and it definitely shouldn’t hurt so much.
And as we fail to understand this, we fall into the trap of toxic love, the one that’s so agonizing that it makes you feel like you’re in the middle of a heated battlefield.
The one that damages you emotionally and leaves you deeply hurt.
At first, toxic love begins just like a dream. Your partner showers you with compliments and sweet lines that just melt your heart. They treat you the way you’ve always dreamed of being treated. Perhaps that’s why you might be fooled it’s real.
But soon, the tables turn. The person who couldn’t go to bed without texting you ‘Good night, love.’ is not responding to you for days now. The one that told you you’re the most precious thing in their life is looking at you with not a single emotion in their eyes. However, they sometimes still act as sweet as in the beginning. Sometimes, they are still as charming as they once were. Unfortunately, it’s often because they are trying to manipulate you into doing something for them or believing a lie they just told you.
Is your relationship based on true or toxic love?
If you cannot answer at this very second, this might be a sign that what you have with your partner is far from authentic.
The difference between real and toxic love is tremendous. While true love is based on trust and honesty, toxic love is filled with disloyalty and deception. True love makes you and your partner grow together, inspire one another, and unconditionally support each other. On the contrary, toxic love crushes your spirit, makes you doubt yourself, and even halts your personal growth.
When you are truly loved, you will feel motivated to constantly improve yourself, chase your goals, and fulfill your dreams. Your partner will be there on every step of your journey. They will hold your hand through every storm and will be genuinely happy for you through every success. They will treat you with compassion, care, empathy, and appreciation. What’s more, they will accept you just as you are.
On the other hand, if someone is only fooling you into believing they love you, there will be no sign of support. However, there will definitely be signs of control, manipulation, mental exhaustion, and misery. You will constantly feel as if you were worthless. Your partner will treat you with ignorance, apathy, and even hatred at times. They will make you feel as if you’re never enough. Everything you do or say will be useless and irrelevant.
So, which kind of love do you and your significant other have? Does your partner help you grow, or do they crush your dreams? Do they make you feel protected, appreciated, and accepted, or do they simply ignore your feelings? These are questions you need to answer yourself in order to determine whether the love you have is genuine or deceiving.
Until you decide, remember this: Claiming to love someone and then taking advantage of them is mental abuse.
If your relationship is slowly destroying you, then it’s not built on love.
In case you see through the facade and realize you’ve been fooled, don’t ever blame yourself for it. Falling into the trap of a toxic person is hardly ever your fault. Some people are just too darn good at treating you badly. They have the ability to hide their true nature with the sweetest disguise. Although, it will be entirely your fault if you realize they’ve been treating you with nothing but toxicity, and you still choose to stay.
Settling for toxic love will be the biggest mistake of your life.
Pretending you’re in a healthy relationship when it’s exactly the opposite will only hurt you even more. So, instead of ignoring someone’s awful behavior just because you think you love them, take into consideration your own feelings for a change.
If your partner is blocking your growth and making you feel useless, it’s not worth it. Once you realize this, you will finally be free.
Very good article