It was 3:00 in the morning when I suddenly remembered the letter I had sent to my mother five years ago. And because I couldn't sleep, I went looking for it and found the cute envelope in my closet. There were two letters inside the envelope, one was the letter that I gave to my mom, and the other one was the letter my mom gave me. I tried reading it and believe me when I say that the letter was hilarious. I can't believe I actually expressed what I felt those times as I struggled to accept the reality that my family had split up.
Here's the letter that I wrote to my mother
"Hi ma! How's Manila? Are you both okay there? It's been 6 months that we've been apart from each other. I miss you and Athena already. First time in my life that I will open-up my feelings about our family. I am slowly beaten by nervousness every time that I want to ask or to know if why did it reach out to the point that you and dad should separate. So, I didn't continue asking you, instead I chose to ignore it. I forced to smile and choose to forget the problem in our family even if I am hurt inside."
"I have many questions and what ifs. Is it because you are tired of me? Are you not happy anymore? What did we do wrong? Is me and my sister not enough to make you stay? What if I chose to stand and fight for our family than just keeping myself in the corner? Will the outcome be change? I badly miss the times that we are enjoying chatting while walking to the market. I thank God because he gave me a wonderful mom and sweet little sister. Don't worry, Dad and I are fine here in Davao. Advance Merry Christmas and Happy New Year by the way. I hope you and Lola will be okay again. That's all and remember that I always love you."
Just like five years ago, I cried when I started reading my mother's response to my letter. Maarte man or what, but those words she wrote hit different to the point that it makes my heart ache so bad.
Expressing your feelings, particularly to your family, can help you feel better about yourself and your situation. It's natural to feel awkward at first, but I will tell you, it truly makes you feel great. Strong connections between your family are vital, and one way to keep your family healthy is to express how you feel about anything to them. That's when I realized it is what we lack in our family. We are not open and hardly express our thoughts toward one another.
To have a broken family is truly hurtful and not easy, but knowing that I have still a mother and a father who continually supports me and cares for me even though we no longer live under the same roof makes me grateful. Now, I've realized that I am still lucky to have both of them, and that's what truly matters to me.
By the way, my mother and my father were on good terms. I also have a cute little brother on my mother's side. I am happy to know that they've found true happiness in their own lives. I am also thankful for my teacher back then. She was the reason behind this letter, making this as our project.
That's all for today. God bless everyone, and have a nice day! Thank you for reading my letter.
All photos were edited by @Makikeno