Depression

Fiction by Inkspires

With every step, their eyes filled with contempt keeps on following me. Every action I make is equivalent to bad comments as if I have done nothing right in my entire life. Every time they look at me, I feel their humiliating harsh words that are like a thousand knives stabbing my entire body.

Their words against me were whispered but it becomes deafening silence whenever I am walking past them. No matter how many times I try to convince myself to ignore what they were saying, but it's an inescapable and futile attempt. They will just always repeat what they are saying to me. They will just make me look like a worthless creature.

I closed my eyes while remembering the pains that were caused by my worthless existence. When I opened my eyes, my vision is still blurry due to the tears that keep on flowing. The shadows are my only companions, and they keep whispering to me that there is only one way to end the pain that I'm feeling.

"Hey, Ugly!"

I wiped the blurry mirror in my room and checked my pale reflection in the mirror. My eyes have turned red due to continuous crying. My cheeks have sunken, and I lost too much weight because I haven't eaten in days. They are right. They have the right to mock me and remind me how ugly I am.

"You're useless! Look at your brother, he's already in abroad. Your cousins, they're already earning thousands! While you? A Repeater! Drop-out! A big idiot!"

My tears automatically fell again whenever I remember the things that my dad keeps on saying to me.

"Sorry, I never loved you. Never had, never will. Everything is just a bet. Let's break-up."

I punched the mirror because of anger. I thought someone already loves me and accepted me for who I am, but he just made me feel like I am not worthy to be loved because I am worthless.

I am trying hard to make myself look strong every single day. I tried to smile and mingle with other people, but apparently, I do not fit in this world.

I am sitting on the hard cold floor of my room. My mind is so messy. My eyes are restless. The shadows are whispering to my ears, they are calling me into a world. A world where I am accepted and loved even though I am not perfect.

"There's only one way," they whispered again to me while they are pointing at the broken glasses that are scattered on the floor from the mirror that I had punched a while ago.

They are the only ones who are with me.

They are the only ones I can talk to because they are willing to listen to me.

They are the only ones I can trust in this world.

My lips painted a bitter smile. I'm ready to leave this chaotic world. I looked at my right fist full of blood after punching the mirror. My attention is focused on the pieces of glass scattered on the floor. I picked up the biggest piece.

I'm tired of living in a world that never welcomed me and keeps on pushing me away. I'm tired of suffering. I'm tired of believing that there is hope. This will be the end of sadness and pain that I am feeling.

I pointed shrapnel on my left wrist. The shadows even guided my hand to ensure that the sharp part of the shrapnel will pierce the vital part. As expected, they will always support me.

I saw them surrounding me because the darkness is already conquering my vision.

Goodbye, cruel world...