"Charity begins at home", says an old adage. The extent to which this saying affects many societies can never be overestimated. It is indeed true that the promotion or destruction, fall, or uplift of every culture lies in the family.
In a literary sense, the structure and fate of Ekiti state can be related to the working and fate of a fountain as well as a fountainhead, its water, and steps that purify the waters and little pools that feed the fountain. What greater picture can align with the slogan of Ekiti state while reverberating in its meaning, the richness of the state's culture, tradition, and values?
The fountainhead may stand to mean the state - its government and people, the water are the streams of everlasting knowledge that flows through the Ekiti people - in every family, clan, village, and town, the yearning to acquire knowledge and to utilize it. Hence, the slogan "Fountain of knowledge" is very apt as it embodies the scholarly aspiration of the people. However, this slogan can never be complete without the pools of culture, tradition, and values that feed the fountain and most importantly, the steps which serve as a purifier, promoter, custodian, preserver, and restorer of the fountain and its pools. These steps are none other but the family.
The family plays an important role in restoring the core values of knowledge, patriotism, morality, firm discipline, and traditional values in Ekiti State. The traditional values may consequently extend into other values like home-keeping, respect for elders, honesty, contentment, and moderation.
Currently, examining the children and youth, even to the adults of Ekiti state, there is only a very dull and opaque reflection of the values which had once been cherished by the simple people who had lived up to these values, which are guided by the universal laws and in the serene comfort of the surrounding hills in Ekiti. The case now, however, is that the epic contributions of our ancestors have been eroded since the introduction and advent of westernization. Then, a new fate was written. The fountain became polluted and the pools defiled as a result of negligence and decadence of the main pillar. Only the steps which symbolize the family will invariably remain.
Lyndon B Johnson, a former American president, once wrote that "The family is the cornerstone of our society. More than any other force, it shapes the attitude, hopes, ambitions, and values of the child. And when the family collapses, it is the children that are damaged. When it happens on a massive scale, "the community itself is crippled." Therefore, the restoration of these values involves the revival of old values, renewal of the existing values, and upholding them, hence, the need to transfer these values from generation to generation. In this respect, the duty undoubtedly falls on the family.
A child first learns to act, speak, and live from the family. It is said that a child learns what he or she lives with. Therefore, the first process of restoration and revitalization is the role of parents in child training. Every parent must rear their children/ward to become responsible and relevant members of society. A child who lives with a family that understands its role in uplifting Ekiti values and preserves it also learns this and emulates the family so, these values are passed down to the next generation, as "there is no job more important than parenting." Therefore, the big question is, "How do the parents or family perform their duty in restoring Ekiti values, and what is their role in providing the necessary leadership for this?"
The family, particularly the parents, should perform their duty in restoring Ekiti values with ardent zeal. They should ensure cultural promotion through speaking the local dialect, including traditional values in the moral upbringing and informal education of the children. Parents must teach the culture of orderliness, a sense of beauty and tidiness, and above all, the foremost core values of keeping up with high standards of education. Examples of personalities or families who have been performing their role in upholding this value are the Aluko family of Sam, Bolaji, and Gbenga Aluko who have properly reflected the value of Education in their various fields and careers. Afe Babalola, a Senior Advocate of Nigeria (SAN) and proprietor of the highly reputable university, ABUAD, and Dr. S.O Ilori, a clinical psychologist and the proprietor of Oasis Health Care and Research Center.
It is very rare to see a child or youth who is very fluent and verbal in the Ekiti dialect and proud of Ekiti culture. Over-exposure to westernization in families is a pernicious cause of this and that affirms what Wes Borland once said that "Real family values have gone down the drain in modern families." Educated Adults in the family prefer and encourage the younger family members to speak and communicate well in the English language at the detriment of their own dialect on the pretext of learning to communicate better in English without taking into consideration the fact that the local dialect remains the most necessary language for immediate communication. The lingua Franca should be used only in formal communication and, since informal communication is often utilized more than the former, the local dialect should be learned better.
Etoiledunord org. believes that, "strong Family values build strong families." The family should encourage the production of our values through the encouragement of learning to speak, act and dress like an Ekiti indigene. In fact, every Ekiti indigene should and must learn this first. This is a big step towards fulfilling their role in promoting Ekiti values. "Toll" wrote, "I look forward to the day when I would be able to fly my banner as an Ekiti child with happiness and pride."
The core values of the Ekiti people can only be achieved through effective parenting. This is the aspect of VALUE ORIENTATION. The family, in connection with EFFECTIVE PARENTING, may begin with an inward orientation that is, basic home values like cleanliness and general tidy habits, greeting one's elders in the traditional style (genuflecting or prostrating), being able to speak one’s local dialect, honesty in little things, modest dressing, moderation in public and simple household chores. Songs and stories can also be used to motivate little children. When products of the family are able to imbibe these values from within, it will be easier to maintain and act outside the family.
"Children learn more from what you are than what you teach." This Shutterstock message is directly referring to the parents of every family. To provide leadership, the parents should be living examples to their own children. A family that understands and committedly plays its role in practicing these values can serve as role models to other families. Families like the Falana Family of Femi Falana, a Senior Advocate of Nigeria and an activist, and his son, Folarin Falana(Falz). Others include; Fajuyi, Apata, Adeyinka Adebayo and Olujumi families can serve as a city set on a hill that shines a light and a worthy point of emulation.
The family is the basic unit of society and if every family plays its role well, the values of Ekiti will be restored. Should every family from end to end dutifully perform their duties as the steps to the great fountain there is no need to announce the fact that it is an Ekiti Family, the light will shine by itself. Good wine needs no bush and greatness need not blow its trumpet as the world makes way for it. In this way, Ekiti can preserve and hone her values to stand out in the comity of states in Nigeria, notwithstanding its small geographical size or the negative prejudices attached to it. Together, we can, through our families, preserve the epic of our great and cultured people who once lived in happiness amid the comfort of the protective hills, Ekiti.
By I. T. Oluwatobi
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