"Gab! It's raining where are you going? Aren't you sleeping here? "
I just smiled at Sammy and go out immediately. It was dark around and very cold. I knew Kevin is going home from work so I decided to fetch him up and plan on surprise him too. He's my long time boyfriend but it's not continuous because we often break up with each other then come back again. Right now our relationship is already a year and I think it's the longest. We love each other to the point that even if we separate and get tired I will still be back by the time he rests.
I entered the office and waited for the elevator to open.
3...2... 1
I took my umbrella and was surprised to saw him. I also saw the shock on Kevin's face when I saw him. A woman confronted him as their lips closed. This is the first time Kevin has cheated on me because of a woman. He has never been to this point when he breaks up with me before, because it is often just a personal problem or stress at work.
I quickly picked up the things I dropped and ran out. I could feel that he's following me and at the same time pulling my arm.
"Sab, please let me explain" I face him and immediately slapped him
"Cheater!"
"No! That was just a misunderstanding "
"Really? Misunderstanding? How it be a misunderstanding when both of you are kissing?"
"Just please Sab, I'm also surprised by what she did"
"Oh really? But it seems like your enjoying it"
"Please Gab, don't be like that... I'm tired"
"Tired? you mean you want a break again? "my tears slowly dripped
"If that's how you understand "
"Why now Kev? "we were kept in the umbrella so my eyes could see his eyes
"I said I just want to rest Sab"
"Is it because of that woman? do you like her?"
"No! "
"then Why? Why are you always so tired? Why would you leave me alone? "
"I don't deserve you Sab, I'm sorry"
He slowly retreated away from me. He was already wet by the rain but he just ignored it. I want to chase him but he shakes his head and I just get hurt. He cheated on me but why am I not angry? Why do I still believe what he says? I don't want to think that woman is the reason that he wants to stay away from me. For both of us, rest means break up but now it's very painful. The pain he did.
I just cried as I returned to my bestie's apartment. I could never see my way through my eyes. I laid my umbrella and lay on the ground. I felt the pain in my heart but could not feel my body.
-
"Omg! Sabrina what happen?!! "Sammy looked at me from head to toe. I saw pity in her eyes.
"We broke up again but this time I think its over" I came up to her and lean over her shoulder as I looked into her eyes I saw her tears dripping.
"You know that he'll come back to you right? Why do you come home like that Sab?"
"He cheated"
"What?!!!"my best friend's fists were in anger so I held her hand to calm her down.
"I will be fine... soon "I said
-
"Sammy! open the door, let me see her" I heard Kevin's loud knock from the outside. The pain was still on me but I wanted to see him. I knew my bff was angry with him too so I nodded at her and smiled so she could open the door.
"How dare you hurt my best friend!"
"I didn't mean it"
His eyes were swollen and he was restless. He immediately grabbed me and knelt before me.
"I'm not breaking up with you Sab please stay with me... please "
I was swallowed and could not speak. I was angry, hurt, annoyed but so much compassion and love were overlap. I knelt down and grabbed his shoulders.
"I'll stay Kev... and you know that I always wanted to stay forever "
Sam just shook his head and allow us to talk. I immediately turned to Kevin even though he said he didn't really break up with me that night.
-
"I never cheated on you Sab" I immediately turned to him and then bowed my head.
"I don't know Kev, maybe I was just too emotional that time"
"I understand if you are angry with me and you should be angry until now"
"I can't do that to you, you know that right? "
I cried so much that I kept it under control. We walk into the Park now, while holding each other's hands. We were both smiling but deep inside I knew we were ruined.
"Please... stay "
"I will"
-
"Do you deserve me now Keb? "I asked, he sighed before confronting me and speak.
"I'm sorry Sab, I'm such a failure... I still don't deserve you even a ring for proposal I can't afford to buy "
"I don't need that! your love is enough, I know your priority for now is to support your family and it's okay for me to prioritize them first, I understand"
"That night-"
"Forget about it Kev" I stopped him but he continued.
"I lost my job Sab and I didn't know what to do. The girl you saw in the elevator, she's the daughter of my boss. She offered me something and this is what we talked about so I was surprised she suddenly kissed me ”
I know I should know all of that even though it doesn't matter now. I forgave him for my love but now I forgive him for his deep reason. The reason I couldn't find out right away. The reason why he was so tired that time.
"I'm sorry Kev-"
"No! you must not be sorry to me, please don't say that... just stay with me "
"I will"
-
Every day looks like a date. Where our feet just take us to nowhere. He gave me white flowers so I look at his face. The tears were swollen in his eyes.
"Why are you doing this? your just making it so hard for yourself" I said
"You know how much I love you right? "
"Yes... and I love you too "
He smiled and leaned my head over his shoulder. As our eyes stared into the sky,
"You think it's been a few years since we were tired? "I asked.
"7 years... and I will continue to come back to you because you are my home ”
"It looks like you need to evacuate" I joked but he took it seriously.
"I can't imagine I wake up and no one would text me, I can't imagine no one would bring me an umbrella... I can't imagine not seeing you for a day... How? I can't live without you "
" Ofcourse you can! You are not a failure and you have many other responsibilities here even though I am gone ”
"Stay with me forever Sab"
"I will stay until..."
"Until when? "
-
Some days Kevin couldn't sleep when he wasn't with me, so every where I go he's with me. I know he's having hard time with his life right now but his smiles are so bright every time I look at him. He told me that he had applied to various companies and that some had accepted him. I know him well and he's a very hard working person.
"Let's go Sab! I have freetime "Kevin said
"Freetime? That sounds great"
"Let us go Sammy" seems to have stumbled upon us
"Don't you see Kevin? they are making you crazy!"
"I have nothing to say to others, I don't owe them an explanation"
"Please... Kev let go of my friend let her rest! "Kevin seemed to be stuck with what Sammy said and changed his eyes on both of us. Tears quickly burst into tears. I was sobbing and unable to speak
"It's all my fault!!! Sam... my fault... it's my fault "
"It was an accident!!! "
Sam held his mouth shut while holding back the weeping. Kevin came up to me and spoke again,
"I'm so sorry Sab... forgive me everyone"
"I've forgiven you for a long time... I think I want to rest ”
"I can not do it... I'll rest for now, I promise you I'll come back. why are you asking for rest without a return?... I love you Sab "
"I love you too and I'm willing to stay until..."
"Until when again Sab? "
"I'll stay until you forgive... yourself "
_________
That night, I died in an accident. A car that hit me lost the brake. I was never taken to the hospital because I had lost my life. My soul came home bloody in my bff's apartment so much surprise, fear, sadness. Kevin and Sammt have third eyes. They are the only special person who sees me. I had been in the light for a long time but I could not leave Kevin until he forgave himself for my death. I love him so much and I don't want to lose half of his personality.
"Remember, It's not your fault"
"I'm sorry... I know that it's hard to me ”
"but I can't leave you like this-"
"I'm ok Sab, Remember that you are the only woman I love and will love you this way" the last time Kevin gave me lively smiles.
"I'll treasure the Love and Forgiveness for both of us"
"You can go now Sab, you can rest now"
