My oniichan

Take my hand, take my whole life too.

For I can't help falling inlove with you.

That was my parents theme song and my mom used to sing that song for me when I was a child. She was a piano teacher and she really loves music.

I thought I was the first blessing to them but not my Mom told me about my brother. Until now they cannot accept the fact that they loss him when he's still on mom's stomach by hearing those things from them makes me feel like I was not enough. They treated me as their princess, I saw how much my Dad loves my Mom but they can't hide from me the days when they were fighting. I was just in the corner of my room, holding my ears, wiping my tears and acting like nothing happened that day.

I want you to stay, never go away from me

Stay forever

But now, now that you are gone

All I can do is to pray for you

To be here beside me again

My mom bumped into a car accident while trying to save me. My life suddenly changed and broke into pieces. I couldn't look into Dad's eyes and I know he's blaming for mom's death. I was left alone saying "Mom, please wake up. I can't live without you... Please "

I got up in bed when I heard the sound of a guitar. I immediately went downstairs and followed its sound. The sound brought me to our basement and there I saw an old guitar

"Can you play the guitar? Raquel?"

I looked back when I heard a man's voice.

"Who are you?"

He's taller than me and looks older too. Its nose is long and his eyelashes are thick too. He's not that white but his body is just right. It only wears white T-shirts and jeans pants, it also comes with a guitar. He just smiled and started to play the guitar.

I'm only one call away

I'll be there to save the day

Superman got nothing on me

I'm only one call away.....

My Dad became so busy everyday in his work. He's doing it for forgetting or maybe he doesn't want to see me. We almost have everything, I get everything I want, I live in a mansion but this is not the true happiness for me. I rather choose to live in a simple life while having a whole family than living in lonely mansion.

"Just follow my strumming patterns okay?"

He was always there. I don't know but I was never scared even when we first met. Maybe it's because mom always told me when I was a kid.

He patiently taught me how to play a guitar.

There goes my heart beating

Cause you are the reason

I'm loosing my sleep

Please Comeback now

There goes my mind racing

And you are the reason

That I'm still breathing

I'm hopeless now

"How did you learn playing guitar?"I asked him

"Self taught? Or maybe I inherited it in my parents too"

I look at him and smiled a little, if only he were alive.

"Oh! don't stare at me, I might melt "

His self confidence is also severe, so I snob at him but he just grabbed my head and messed my hair.

"Do you have a boyfriend already?"

"What if there is?"I said, but I was just kidding him to see its reaction

"Then who is he?"

Sometimes I just want somebody to hold

Someone to give me their jacket when it's cold

Got that young love even when we're old

Sometimes I want someone to grab my hand

Pick me up, pull me close, be my man

I will love you till the end

My life as a teenager became much hard he was still there. He supported me in everything. He gave me the best advice for every situation I encountered.

"I'm such a failure" I said while crying to him

"Who told you that? "I saw the concern in his eyes.

He gave me my guitar and even started playing. He repeated the intro of the song because he wanted me to sing.

There's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always be an uphill battle

Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

It's about how fast I get there

It's about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb

I always tried to do my best in school hoping that someday my Father will be there to appreciate me. I still love him sometimes in my mind that he might not really love me.

"I can't take this anymore, please... let me see you"

"I'm here!"he waved at me, saw that he was still smiling but then immediately put his hands down when he saw that I was crying

"What happened?"

"He never loved me"

"I told you, I don't really like that guy for you either"

In my first heartbreak he was also there. He became my comfort zone. I don't feel like I'm alone when I'm with him.

" Hey! Forget that guy, it's bad to sleep late!"

"What time is it?"

"It's 12:51am!"

I just smiled and took my guitar.

Cause it's 12: 51 and I thought my feelings were gone

But I'm lying on my bed thinking of you again

And the moon shines so bright but I gotta dry these tears tonight

Cause you're moving on and I'm not that strong to hold on any longer

Playing a guitar and singing became my favorite hobby. Music makes me feel alive even though my life is full of sadness. It was also my way of calling him because I knew he would accompany me every time I played.

I always try to hug him even though I know I'm just embracing the wind. I wish I could touch him, I wish he was really here.

You're always there, you're everywhere

But right now I wish you were here

Damn, damn, damn,

What I do to have you

Here, here, here

I wish you were here

Damn, damn, damn

What I do to have you

Near, near, near

I wish you were here

I'm starting to become an independent woman but I'm still longing for my Dad's love. I got news about his company. He almost broke the sky and the land because of the bankruptcy. I saw him cry in his office and I still had the courage before he was able to talk.

"Dad?"

"Go to your room Raquel! You don't have to worry about me!"

My tears started to fall. I was expecting this from him but I couldn't help but cry.

"I-I miss you Dad, please don't forget that I'm still here..I'm still here Dad...and I will always be here for you"

He just stared into my eyes. I knew he was tired and his eyes were crying. I hoped he would talk to me but he just stooped and I didn't hear anything from him. I can feel the pain inside so I ran and locked my room.

"Please let me see you..."

"I'm here, It's alright"

I know that he was also trying to hug me even though I didn't feel his body.

"Do you want to play a song?"he asked, I just nodded and picked up the guitar again.

I've got way too much time to be this hurt

Somebody help, it's getting worse

What do you do with a broken heart?

Once the light fades, everything is dark

Way too much whiskey in my blood

I feel my body giving up

Can I hold on for another night?-

He stopped playing and stared at me again. He always shows his smiles to make me happy too but this time it was different. He guided me in sadness.

"No more nights for me, Raquel" he said

"Are you going to leave me as well?"

"You are a brave woman, even without me you can make through this"

"No!... if you'll leave can you please take me?"

"Listen Raquel, I need to go now but always remember that I will always be by your side"

"I love you older brother "

It's exhausting but why don't I run out of tears? The first time I saw him, I already know who he was. When I was a child my Mom told me the story about Guardian Angels. She made me believe that it was the job of my brother so he never had the opportunity to live in this world.

He is my Guardian Angel

"Shhh... big bro loves you so promise me that you will take care of Dad okay?, he needs you here"

So I'll sing Hallelujah

You were an angel in the shape of my mum

When I fell down you'd be there holding me up

Spread your wings as you go

And when God takes you back we'll say Hallelujah

You're home

"That's my song for you"

"Thanks Raquel! but you need to wake up now" whispered to me

"Raquel! Wake up!"

I woke up and Dad was next to me, still crying. I got up and he embraced me immediately.

"Oh thank God!... Why did you take those drugs?!"Dad's worried question,

"I'm sorry Dad, it was just a sleeping pills"

"No, Raquel... I'm so sorry... forgive me"

"He was in my dreams dad, he visited me in my dreams since I was a child. I took those pills to talk to him a lot of time"

He sighed and rubbed my hair. He wiped my tears earlier.

"I appreciate you a lot my princess! I'm sorry for all my shortcomings and lapses, Daddy loves you so much"

I hugged him again.

"I love you too Dad"

He looked beside me and saw my guitar next to me. It's always been by my side when I sleep. He just stared there and looked at me.

"Do you know how to play a guitar?"Dad asked

I just nodded and took it.

When I was younger I saw my Daddy cry and curse at the wind,

He broke his own heart and I watched as he tried to re-assembled it

And my momma swore she would never let herself forget

And that was the day that I promised

I'd never sing of love if it doesn't exist

My Dad continues the song

But Darling ,

You are the only exception

You are the only exception

You are the only exception

You...are the only exception

"So you also love music? you're an inheritance to your mommy "

"No dad! I inherited it from you... because this is yours right?"

We smiled together when I showed him his name at the back of it.

End~