Judgemental mindset? Let's change it!

Why do people jugde easily others?

When I was a child I learned from school and my home to be kind, that includes to never judge others on the other hand.

One of the things most of us are taught is the saying “Don’t judge a book by its cover” And yet, despite our best efforts, many of us fall into the trap over and over again because there are times we can't control our minds not to do so. So why do we do it knowing that it is not good?

Here are four common reasons that explain this particularly bad habit of judging other people.

•FEELS LIKE WE'RE ABOVE THEM

-Bringing other people down is one way people lift themselves up. By judging others harshly, we compare ourselves to them and find ourselves superior. Compared to their life, their behavior, their physical appearance, their status and many more that we feel it doesn't suit on the standard. But this kind of comparison is false and unhealthy because God made us unique and different so on the other hand we don't have the right to judge one another because the moment we judge them we are insulting our only creator. Instead of finding flaws in others, we should do much better to focus on how we can become our best selves.

•COVERS OUR OWN WRONG DOING

-More often than not, we are bothered by the qualities in others that we choose not to see in ourselves, having that kind of behavior makes us toxic because in our minds it's okay to judge or look something that is bad to others and often not includes ourselves. We rail against another’s habits, appearance or lifestyle choices because they are the very ones we dislike in ourselves. It can be called insecurity as well because we tend to guard others imperfections instead of focusing on ourselves.

•MAKES US FEEL WE BELONG TO A GROUP

-Honestly most people loves to judge others because they're thirsty for attention and they feel like judging can make them part of a group. Let’s say there is a work situation where one person complains about something, and then another person agrees, and then another and another. Before you know it, a group has formed around negativity which is a no no because of the negativity around. Sometimes this negativity can be funny and based around a silly situation, but often the negativity can be at the expense of another.

HOW TO BREAK THE JUDGEMENT HABIT

If you’ve recognized your tendency toward judgement, here are a few tips to break the habit:

-As much as possible stop yourself by judging others if you find yourself judgemental judgment because it will only give you so much hatred in your heart and will lead you to toxicity that may affect the people that surrounds you. This takes a greater awareness than we usually have, so the first step (and an important one) is to observe your thoughts for a few days, trying to notice when you’re being judgmental. This can be a difficult step. Remind yourself to observe.

Once you’re more aware, you can then stop yourself when you feel yourself being judgemental. Then move to the next step.

-Try to understand others situation before making a conclusion. Instead of judging someone for what he’s done or how he looks, try instead to understand the person. Put yourself in their shoes, try to empathize so that you will understand the whole story. Try to imagine their background. If possible, talk to them. Find out their backstory. Everyone has one. If not, try to imagine the circumstances that might have led to the person acting or looking like they do.

-Acceptance is the key. Once you begin to understand, or at least think you kind of understand, try to accept. Accept that person for who he is, without trying to change him because all of us are made differently and we should be grateful for the things we have, by showing kindness to everyone will make this world a better world where negativity could not foster. Accept that he will act the way he does, without wanting him to change. The world is what it is, and as much as you try, you can only change a little bit of it. It will continue to be as it is long after you’re gone. Accept that, because otherwise, you’re in for a world of frustration.

- Spread Love. Once you’ve accepted someone for who he is, try to love him. Even if you don’t know him. Even if you’ve hated him in the past. Love him as a brother, or love her as a sister, no matter who they are, old or young, light skinned or dark, male or female, rich or poor. Although we're differently made in this world but in the eyes of our creator we are only the same so spread love as much as you could because only love will give you peace and happiness living in this world.