In a relationship not every time you love each other, you are still happy but sometimes there are times situations came to the point that one of you is tired already. And you will be left behind.
I really love him that much even though I can purely sense that his love for me is slowly lost, I'm still fighting for our relationship even though I’m alone. Even though it was exhausting, yes it’s very hard to win his love back , the pain is there but I really love him I couldn't afford to lose him.
"Let’s stop this relationship now, I cannot feel my love to you. And I think it’s not working anymore even how many times I tried but nothing change." The moment he said those words, I was in tears staring at his face.
I don't want to lose him. I love this man more than my life.
"Clark, no please don't say that I know we can bring it back."I replied rubbing his cheek with my two palms.
I think I'll die if he truly loses in my life. I can't live without him. No I can't.
"Cath, we tried again and again but I cannot see the changes, just accept the fact that we’re not going back to the old one. Cath I'm so tired." He explained that makes my chest tight.
"Me too but I’m still here, fighting for our relationship."My answer.
"Cath it’s over, this relationship is done. So let's give up." He said and makes me devastated.
"We reached 5 years, but this is just so easy for you? Why? I cried a lot. I can't accept the fact but... I don't know what I'm going to do to save this relationship.
"No, but I can do that. As much as I can. So please Bella..." He begged.
Why is it so hard that I feel like I have to accept in myself that Clark and I will be no longer couple. The person I dream of with until my last breath.
“But , I can’t" I was overwhelmed and in pain.
"We have to stop this, let's end up Cath."I see his pain too but it hurts me more because I love him more than myself
"No, please I'm begging you."I was in tears begging for a chance.
"Cath do you hear yourself? We are no longer happy with our relationship, we pretend to love each other and we insist that we can but not. It’s over, I’m done." He raised his voice that cause me to be taken for granted.
Sick of what he says.
"Yes you are right because 'I can see and feel in our relationship that it’s not working anymore but you know that I love you .., I was slowly reaping and I sighed deeply so that I could lose my breath in tears and weep again.
"You? Do you still love me?"I still asked even though I knew the answer.
"Not anymore."Sh*t sick to hear that very sick. It kills me with pain.
"Are in love with someone?"I ask it hurts.
"No"
“I still love you ever since.Only you”. I said staring into his eyes.
"I know... but the thing is I don’t love you anymore". A poisonous word causes me to die had been spit out
I knew he wouldn’t hurt me but now he hurts me so much and it hurts a lot.
"Why?! What have I done in our relationship? It's been good and I'm doing my role well. I gave you everything but now you’re giving me all this shits?. I'm always there for you, I didn’t missed something but why Clark? What else I lack?"before he answered his tears shed.
"I know all that but I don't know why but this is all I can say I'm happy to meet you and I'm lucky that I had you in my life.. You’re perfect a girlfriend. But Cath I'm not happy with you anymore. I don't love you anymore." He said.
He continued speaking. While I was crying in his arms. Indicating that it might be, that we might be fine that it might have returned his former love for me.
"You did nothing, it’s not you it’s me and I’m sorry. I know it hurts for you but we have to accept that you and I are done. Hope you find the perfect person for you." He added
Maybe I need to decide that we should free ourselves that we should never force things that are no longer possible.
"I love you so much but I can't force you anymore and thank you for all the moments we made, I’ll keep them in my heart and I hope you do the same”. I said, and embraced our last hug.
"Me too Cath". He whispered and kissed my forehead.
End~
