Poisonous Parenting...

Parents hold the most essential position in a child's life and are a major factor for shaping a child's personality..right?

We have heard a lot of quotes about parents like "Mother's love is unconditional"etc ...but when the parents are childish then how can they raise their children...

I'm not saying that being a young parent is a crime or a sin which leads to destroying the child's life .I just want to share with you lovely people ,the incident that happened in our family...

3 Years Back...

One of my uncle got married to another girl from our family...And with the blessings of Almighty God,they were blessed with a beautiful baby girl.They named her Maryam.Everyone was happy.This year the little angel was about to turn 2 but unfortunately,it didn't happen.And she left this world and went back to heaven.

I still get teary when I remember the scene of her death.It was the week of the Eid and we had guests,so we decided to go out and like visit some places you know...but as soon as we were about to step outside ,we received a call about the sad news...What could we do ....it was just unbelievable...my mother was also shocked.But, somehow all of us got back to our senses and I was just teary....My mother noticed it and opened her arms to let me cry in her arms...and so I did...I was just teary ,sad and angry too....

At that moment random thoughts were moving in my head and they were like:

"Now hush little angel don't you cry, everything's gonna be alright"

" Don't worry maryam God will take care of you ",

" They didn't deserved you"...and something like this you know..

I don't know, but I still know why I was feeling this way...last year her mother brought her here( at my home)....we all love children and so we were happy that they came...what a lovely child she was...she was patience but cheerful too and we all adored her...

What might have happened ..

Actually I'm a Medical student and the fact that she was delaying milestones was a bit strange to me and I asked, a couple of times ,her mother and even my mother about it ...but you know they just ignored me that it's fine.She will be fine after some time.But the most shocking thing for me was when her mother was giving her literally the "sleeping pills"....Basically it was a cough syrup and it is a common side effect that it causes sleepiness...

I asked that is her throat hurting or something cuz she was not coughing or anything...But to my disbelief...she said that" she usually cries before sleeping and disturbs sleep too and so I always give her this sleeping syrup at night"

And with that, my eyes was about to pop out .Medicines are beneficial in treating diseases but almost every allopathic medicine or drug comes with side effects as well.One of my Friend also told me that her cousin's son got brain deteriorated cuz she used to give the so called sleeping medicines to her.

And when my parents reached at the funeral there were a lot of sayings but one of my aunt told my mom that basically nothing major happened.Maryam was feeling low at the day and when they took her to the hospital ,doctors said that her water was finished...They thought maybe they were talking about fluid loss due to diarrhea,but her mother knew that she didn't had diarrhea ...anyways, after some drips she was discharged.But the next day she suddenly fall down while walking and was dead at the time they took her to the hospital...

I know that a mother's love is the purest form of love in this world.And Maryam's mother was also more than sad.She still cries and calls her name.People try to boost her up but her heart is crumpled.But again...There is a proper way to show this love...this is very unethical to give anyone drugs without proper prescriptions ...and she was her mother....I don't understand why can't she hear a little bit of the little angel's cries at the night...I mean ,every child do that right?

And to be very honest with you...I didn't like her parenting at all...and me and my mother didn't allowed do do such thing to the poor girl as long as she was in our house but still ....and her dad used to live in another city ,so,he couldn't spend a lot of time with her...

Ugh..I don't think I'm able to write what I really want to express and how I feel about it.At some point,I know how she must be feeling right now...but at the same time I'm angry at her.I'm not sure that those medicines played a part in her death or not .I don't know that is it just my family who find doing such things to children crazy or not.But the world is changing and so are the concepts of everything in our minds...

And not just this... Poisonous Parenting can have different opinions and different definitions to different people.For some people it may mean the child abuse parenting.Similarly some may think that loving your own child and killing the other's child is poisonous.Some may say that too much liniency is poisonous while some say too much rules and strictness is poisonous and so on...

But the thing that is common is the cause behind them ...lack of knowledge or too much of knowledge...either they don't know what type of responsibility being a parent is or either they think too much and believe that they are parents which means that only they have to take decisions for their child ..and both of them are wrong...At least that's what my opinion is...

Well...thank you so much for reading and do let me know your opinion about it...I couldn't write for a couple of reasons but I will write more often again ...

(all the images are taken from Unsplash)