About a month ago, my mother ran away and married another man. I already knew the man. He used to come to our house from time to time. My mother and I used to go to meet. I was young,
So my mother could meet me, under the pretext of taking me to school-private. That uncle used to caress me very much. So I like him very much. I liked him very much. But my father never liked him like me. I was in class seven then. Maybe that's why we had different views.
I thought that uncle was just uncle. But my father thought something else. In other words, there was a big difference of understanding between the two of us. That is normal. But not anymore.
My older sister Tanisha and I are about the same age. Sister is in class eight and I am in class seven. I'm Raka. I am saying a happy member of a very happy family. I was a sad, happy member, probably not anymore. My father is a businessman.
Our condition was going well. Absolutely neither rich nor poor. I mean, there was no sign of tension in the world. But who knew that the happy picture would be so fruitless? I'm terribly frustrated.
Not just me. My whole family picture is horrible now. Honestly, I don't like my mother that much. There are many reasons behind it. Now I am at home with my father and sister.
There is no mother. Mom is busy with her new family. Sister, Dad and I- we all forgot everything and are fine now. Dad said,
"There's no point in falling for the bonds he's left behind. Why can't we when he's able to start a new life?" We can too. Sister and I said together that day, "Yes Dad. We can too." But we both know, This did not come to my mind.
My father loves my mother dearly. Maybe my mother never understood that. I don't know if my sister understands. But I understand. I occasionally wake up late at night. Why? My father was stunned, at the sound of the cries of separation in a serious voice. No one hears that voice anymore. Only I listen. I ran to the door of his room. I discovered my father while holding a picture of my mother. When my father cried in the stream of Azhor.
In a tearful state, in a faint voice, he just repeats, "Why did Anu leave? What do I have that I don't have? What could I not give you? We have such a happy family! Two daughters! You could? You could be so stony?"
I never saw my father cry. Today I have been watching almost every day for a month and a half.
Men's cries are very horrible, maybe many of us don't know that. We think only girls will cry. The boys will be bloated. Not crying for them. But no! Cry! Tears! He comes from the depths of the heart! Tears are the result of absolute suffering. Men and theirs should open their souls and cry without suppressing tears. At least this provision should be made. Then maybe many men in the society will be able to alleviate hundreds of hardships in life.
My father cries every night. I see. Don't go near. Don't dare! Because I know, if I get close to her now, I'll cry myself. My father can't stand my crying. He will suffer more then. My mother hurt my father. But I don't want to hurt my father in any way.
I know, my father's pain will get worse as I get closer. So I stand. Until, until Abu stops crying.
When the crying stops, he will take the picture of his mother from his hand and put it under the pillow. Then stare at the ceiling fan for a while.
Then only tears will flow on both sides. Then gradually Abu's eyelids will start getting smaller. Then he fell asleep.
Just then I entered his room.
I put my hand on his head for a while and looked at the face of my helpless father. I think, what was the fault of this man?
The naked part of the picture of my mother lying under the pillow seemed to attract me then.
I don't want to look! Still, I see.
I can see a part of his eyes.
I try to pretend not to see.
Still crying!
Then just think,
Ammuto is supposed to be lying next to Abbu!
I don't see my mother anywhere!
Where is mom now?
Hold your face somehow with the veil.
There is no way out the sound of crying!
I put kantha on my father's body.
Then I came to my room and lay down.
Apu sleeps soundly. He may not have any worries about this. He doesn't seem to have any objections.
Surprisingly, on the day my mother left, she was not seen crying for once. He may support his mother in his mind. It is not yet known why.
The night I saw this sad scene of my father, I could no longer sleep.
I lie down. But sleep does not come.
I just reminisced then.
Ah, how happy we were, how good we were ..
We are nowhere to be found now.
When you go out, you have to listen to the harsh words of the people.
I would not leave my house for the first two weeks. Apu used to cook. It can be said that I somehow survived by eating. Dad was crazy then. He had no hadith of anything then.
I'm a fairly kind student.
My name was always on the list of the top five in school.
I like to study.
But now I don't go to school anymore.
School friends don't even leave Sir-Misra. That's the way it can be.
As if it is a competition!
Whoever can hit the most will be the winner in this competition.
When I went to school two weeks later,
The doorman saw me at the uncle's gate and said,
Oma your mother did not take you?
I wanted to say on my face,
Would I come here? Will you take it?
I went inside without answering.
Everyone on the field was playing handkerchief theft. As soon as I reached there, everyone stood up and clapped their hands at once, looked at me with a contemptuous smile and said,
- Look at that Raka,
Whose father is empty,
The wife is gone,
Their day goes by crying! Hahahaha.
I pretend not to hear this heinous rhyme.
Let's go inside. Enter the class.
After a while sir comes.
He also looked with arrow eyes.
Despite knowing everything, he asks in front of everyone again,
- Raka, did your mother run away? What's up with her? And how is your father? - After hearing the questions, everyone in the class started laughing and joking again. Sir once just stopped smiling and said,
"Shut up. Let Raka say it."
I can't answer.
Only tears come to my eyes.
It must be hidden.
So I keep my head down.
In this way, all the sirs and misses kept coming and asking me to stand in front of everyone. What a shame! Only one sir never said anything. He would start his class as soon as he came. He would call me every day during school holidays.
He used to ask these questions secretly. Would comfort. And he used to say, "Raka will never lose. You have to struggle in life. It's a walking shadow. Everything has a solution. Tell me about any of your problems. I am always by your side. Your name is Sir. Known as your sir.
I go to school like this for a few days. On the way, he used to say whatever he could. I had to listen to this all the time in school too. How difficult! Mom left us to the people of her choice.
Where is our fault here? Why do we have to endure so much humiliation, why do we just have to suffer! Why? Then I stopped going to school. I lost. Let everyone win. Good luck my mom.
To be continued. Thank you.
