Tips to make forgiveness easier
Did you know that you can learn to be more forgiving? Yes, forgiveness is not just about saying the words, saying 'I forgive' and moving on. It is also an active process where you can consciously decide to let go of negative emotions. You can let go of anger, resentment, resentment, hatred and even hostility and replace them with empathy, compassion, love. Or you can transform them into completely different positive emotions that will serve you.
Although most of us don't realize it, research points out that being human is inherently about being forgiving. So, in fact, we can all be forgiving and forgive because we want to be good, to feel good. If you want to get rid of the pain and emotions that no longer serve you, if you want to remove at least one burden from your life, you can follow these steps to forgive:
Recognize the importance of forgiveness
Realize the burden of the situation that has upset, angered, hurt you. Do you really want to continue to carry this burden? Think about how light you will feel when you forgive, how you will feel relieved. There is no need to harbor an emotion that does not serve you.
Decide to forgive
The first step in any journey is to make a decision. So if you want to start your journey of forgiveness to heal yourself in all areas of life, you need to make a confident decision. Say out loud to yourself 'I am ready to forgive' and start. Sometimes, forgiveness may come spontaneously; you may wake up one day and feel inside that you are no longer angry or resentful towards something or someone; blessed! But if this is not the case, consciously making the decision can help you start the process.
Do inner work
Forgiveness requires an inner preparation process, both emotionally and mentally. You need to look inside yourself and listen to yourself in order to realize what and who you are resentful towards, how this emotion affects you, how it would feel to be free of that burden, and how important it is to continue to grow and develop when you replace negative emotions with positive ones. What could be the reason for your inability to forgive, what emotions are fueling that hatred and resentment, how would it affect your energy to turn them into emotions that serve you, first find answers to these questions in your inner world. You can use meditations, breathing exercises or good life practices to connect with your essence and focus only on the present moment.
Take your time
The decision to forgive may come with certain expectations. For example, you may think that forgiveness will completely mend things with the person who hurt you and that you will be ready to have a conversation with them again, but this may not happen instantly. It is better not to act rashly. Lower your expectations of yourself; don't put your emotions on a tight timetable. If you have decided to forgive and you are really ready to forgive, it may take time before you can see if it really works when you take action.
Find your own method
To forgive someone is not necessarily to go and tell them 'I forgive you'. When you decide to forgive and after your inner journey you take a step to put that decision into action, you are choosing to release that emotion and you are beginning to forgive. So you don't need to verbally express your forgiveness or make a declaration to others. If you wish, you can write it on a piece of paper and leave it, symbolizing your forgiveness. Or you can just say it to yourself, 'I forgive you and I choose to move forward'. The choice is yours.
Be prepared for setbacks
I forgive you! Think one more time before you say 'I forgive you! The journey of forgiveness does not start in an instant, nor does it end in an instant. When something triggers you in the future, your feelings about the issue or person you have forgiven may resurface. Forgiveness doesn't always happen in a linear way; setbacks are part of the process. In such a situation, when you realize that you have been triggered, you can go back to the beginning and remind yourself why you decided to forgive.