I'm an incoming college and a Grade-12 graduating student. When I was in grade 7 until grade 10, I used to be closed with all my classmates and I'm one of those students who can be considered as class leader. It was really fun back then because when I'm with everyone, I can forget all my problem at home as well as in academics.
Back then, my parents are very strict and does not fully trust me. I was always pressured with everything because they always compare my actions with my older sister who's almost better at everything. I barely talk when I'm at home and I can only fully show my real self when I'm spending time with my friends and classmates.
Our section can be full of foolish and goofy students but when it comes to performance and activities , we never let anyone down, not even once. We were even described by the teachers as both the worst and the best section.
Time flies so fast that we didn't even notice that graduation was near. Before we fully come to the end, our section decided to make the most of our remaining times together because we all knew that we were not gonna be in the same school anymore after we finish junior high.
At last, April 5, 2019 came, and we graduated. Since our school doesn't offer senior high school, we all went to different schools to enroll for senior high. Some are still with their friends so they wouldn't be alone and lonely.
In my case, it was really hard to adjust because I was very closed with our section and I couldn't seem to communicate well with other people. Thankfully, I still have one friend wo enrolls at the same school with me. We enrolled in a catholic school. We both are awkward and shy so it was hard for us to approach our new classmates. To make things worst for us, we were the only transferee and all of them are already closed with each other, just like our old section.
We felt that the catholic school weren't for us so we decided to transfer together in a public school. The situation didn't entirely changed. We were 2 months late in starting the school year so we need to catch up so we wouldn't left behind. Our new section was really good. However, they are all competitive and some possesses the crab mentality. My friend somehow manage to get along with them but I was too awkward to even talk with one of my classmates. This is where I started to see school in a different view. Back when I was still in my junior high, I always wanted to stay at school to escape my problems at home. Now, I don't even know anymore where to find my comfort zone.
I've stopped in being one of the class leaders. I became one of those students who goes to school just so I wouldn't get a failing grades. Not having a perfect attendance doesn't even bother me anymore. Somehow, it became even hard for me to talk and open up. I ignored every messages I've received because I don't know how to respond and communicate.
The group chat with my old section was still alive and active, but I've stopped staying in contact with everyone. They stopped talking and contacting me as well. The last time I spend time with them was almost 2yrs ago. And now, all that's left in me is loneliness.
What happened? How did it became like this?
It was all my fault. If only I wasn't an awkward person I could have been friends with my new classmates and stay in contact with my old ones. But, this is what I am. This is me; an awkward person who doesn't know how to communicate. Somehow, I've became used to this situation and accepted the fact that I can't come back to how it was before.
So for those who are like me, it's up to you to decide for yourself. However, don't waste all the precious moments you've experienced and definitely don't let go of the people that taught you many things just because you've parted ways. Don't let emotions control you. In the end, it will be yourself who will face all the results of the actions you've made.